Why I love the new Kimye Music Video - Bound 2

Ellen premiered Kayne West music video 'Bound 2' you on her show.

Watch it and then read.


http://www.ellentv.com/2013/11/19/kanye-wests-new-video-bound-2/

Full disclosure I don't like Kayne West's attitude. I think he is overly arrogant, and full of himself. I didn't buy this his last CD because I thought it was a overreach --- I mean calling yourself Yezzus come on dude.... But, I am in love with this song.

It's obviously a love letter to Kim. In the song Kayne talks about how they met, how he waited for her to stop playing around with all those other guys. Listen to the verse,  'How you gonna be mad on vacation.' He's saying Kim, 'How is it that you have everything handed to you, a man on your side and you still aren't happy. It's because you weren't in love with these men.' To me it is incredibly endearing song. Notice Kayne is tough in public but raw and sensitive in his music. Listen to 'Roses' about the passing of his grandmother. That man has heart. It is only in his music that he can express these types of feelings. For some reason he just can't translated that humility into real life. So I get you Kayne.

I love hearing how Kim actually opened up to Kayne. If you're a pop queen like me you know Kim and Kayne have been friends for years. It is obviously that their friendship bloomed into a romance. And, falling in love with your best friend is one of the best things ever. Trust me ladies... if you haven't fallen in love with your best friend then keeping looking honey cause it's magical. So with all these other guys Kris Humpries, that guy she dated from the Cowboys (I seriously don't recall his name) , Reggie Bush; these are men Kim obviously dated before she knew herself. Before she knew that love was more than just a handsome man and some good loving. There is not doubt in my mind her past men were great lovers (inappropriate I know). But with Kayne I think this is the one man she can let her hair down with. I mean listen how she looks to him in this video. It's not just that she is almost naked. She is bare, raw , and open with this man. That is what her nudity in this video signifies. And, I think it is beautiful. it takes a lot to be that vulnerable with someone.

God I love this song---- before you judge Kim for showing off her fabulous body listen deeply to this song. Watch the way she gazes at him. It's so romantic. Before you say, 'Kayne you're so vain.' Listen to this song. Hear how he's professing his love for her, the mother of his only child.

I'm not saying this song means they are going to last--- but I am saying this song shows they are truly, madly deeply in love right now. I am officially team Kimye now.

Just Enough

I have an over active mind. Thoughts, reminders, deadlines whizz past me so fast I can barely linger in moments for too long. While I’m applying my makeup I’m thinking about how I will look on air. I am worried about the impending bills stacking up on my kitchen table.  When I get to work I am ball of anxiety. I worry what the competition has. I wonder if they got the interview I wanted. I’m thinking so much I am forgetting to engage.

                I worry the pudge I call a stomach will never get smaller no matter how hard I diet. I worry my hair is going to mess up before my live shot. I worry my paycheck will only cover my expenses and nothing else.

                A few weeks ago my pastor from Lynchburg sent me a text message. I had it on my heart to call him, but never got around to it. Then I woke up and saw this on my phone, Matt 6:33. Nothing more nothing. It’s a scripture about giving it all to God, releasing worry.

Matthew 6:33 “Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat? or ‘What shall we drink ? or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.   I read the scripture, and I thought to myself, ‘Lord I can’t do this. I can’t make people like me. I can’t fix things at work. I can’t pay all these bills. I need you. I give it all to you.’                Since I said that prayer I’ve had more than enough. In fact I’ve had just enough to make it this past two weeks. And, I’m thinking why do I try to take on the world by myself when my Heavenly Father says He will carry my burdens?  My Heavenly Father is a provider, a healer, a comforter. Why do I worry?                This verse started to work in my life immediately. I told God I needed some motivation to get healthy again. He brought my hair stylist into my life whose all about fitness because of her wedding. When I work out with her it doesn’t feel like exercise. We talk, laugh, and before long I’ve killed a whole hour. She was the jumpstart I needed. I’ve been working out every other day, and I’ve already lost five pounds. Normally I’m an emotionally eater. But, all I have a taste for is water and fruit, healthy stuff.

                I told God I wanted to fall in love again. The very man I was trying to push away took care of me, and comforted me in ways I didn’t think were possible. I had this freak allergic reaction and my right eye was swollen shut two weeks ago. He was not the least bit grossed out. He raced to the store to get me Benadryl, and then took me to the doctor. He even made me laugh about it when I felt so ugly. He encouraged me to write, and pushed me to work harder at work. He cooks for me, and lets me be when I need to work. He has shown me so many new things these past two months. Horse racing, martini bars, filet mignon. He asks for nothing in return, just my company. I seriously think it brings him joy to make me smile. To see me get all excited over Crème Brule. I am glad that God kept Him close by.   I told God I wanted more friendships. This week people I haven’t talked to in ages have called me, texted me, and asked to share my time. I haven’t had a down or slow day all week. I had lunch, coffee with girlfriends. And, I realized I’m a good friend. All the people I had to leave behind to start this walk with Christ, it was all for this.

                I told God I need help with my finances. No one ever showed me in high school how to balance a check book or how to budget. This week God told me to sit down and spread everything out . He showed me I made more than enough to cover my bills. I didn’t see it at first. When I paid for everything; I was left will only a little bit after all the bills. Then God really showed out. When I needed gas this week I discovered I had just enough money for a full tank. When I needed lunch one day this week, my stylist offered me some filling healthy food while I was getting my hair done. I love coffee but I’m realizing my Starbucks habit is not good for my budget.  God finally showed me how to make French press coffee and I’m so in love with caffeine again. I wanted to go out and my awesome boyfriend took me to see a really silly movie. And, it was all I needed.

                My God is amazing. So if you are ever worried or wondering how you’re going to make it. Remember Matthew 6:33. It takes more than reading it though. It takes surrender,  knowing that God is in control. When you give Him the wheel the journey doesn’t seem as difficult to navigate.

I’ll end with my favorite verse one that my pastor in Lynchburg (He’s a really great guy) gave me the first time I came to his service. I live for this verse. It comforts and guides me.

Psalms 37:4 ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the Desires of you heart. 

Dear Aunt Doris

I'm thinking of my Aunt Doris. This time two years ago I was counting down the days to spend a weekend with my her and Uncle. I made the trip to Mississippi in December. She would be gone by the summer. I didn't know then but it would be the last weekend I had with her. I wrote this with that time in mind.

Dear Aunt Doris,

Next to my mother you are the most important woman in my life. I use present tense because as long as I know you are in heaven I know you are still with me.

I wish I had more time to tell you what you meant to me, to show you how much I loved you, to know you. I wanted you to see the brave woman I've become. I wanted you to see the loving mother and wife I want to be, and child of God you knew I could be.

If only I known December would be our last time together. I would have sat with you, talked to you, opened up to you.

But, when I think about it I've had a lifetime of love and lessons with you.

When I was younger I adored your silky, black, long hair. I envied your light skin and feminine ways. But it was the way you carried yourself that taught me the meaning of confidence.  It taught me real beauty had nothing to do with what God blessed you with on the outside.

I used to love visiting your house in the summer. It was seemed like you were always doing something interesting: going to church, making gumbo, or reading scripture. Watching you I learned the making of a real home was the love living inside its four walls.

It always seemed like you had this direct line to God, and you called on Him often.  When you spoke about Him it was like you were talking about a friend, a comforter, a provider, a healer. God is someone you know personally. You taught me I could have a line to God too if I wanted. When I finally connected to our Heavenly Father you were the first person I wanted to tell.

I'm o.k. Aunt Doris. I've had a lifetime of memories with you. I'm glad you're home.

I promise I won't let my sadness keep me from living. I promise to keep making you proud. I promise to make the most of this life God has given me. I promise to keeping dialing on God when life gets rough. I love you Aunt Doris

love,

Mena

Kissing Frogs

In comparison to most women in their 20's my dating life is hardly glamorous and juicy. But here's what I do know. Mama always said, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince." But Mama left out a few details. If only it took one kiss to know the guy you were gushing over turned out to be a complete jerk. No, Mama didn't say that sometimes you'd let your heart get carried away, lose yourself in those kisses only to find a slimy toad staring back you.

At 28 I know now there will be many frogs who will jump onto my lily pad promising something very few of them can give. But, unfortunately I've had to date my fair share of frogs before I learned this lesson.

Here are some of the frogs you may encounter on your way to finding your prince. 

These are the boys who make you feel like one of those sex kitten from the movies. They'll woo you in their nice cars, overpower your senses with their cologne. They will say all the right things. The little girl in you who always wished for a prince will get swept away. He will look like an Adonis.

When you walk into a room with him you know that every woman is checking him out. You will feel powerful having him on your shoulder. He will kiss like the men on soap operas, all slow and passionate like. You feel like the damsel in this love story. This frog will undress you with his eyes, and make you feel like Beyoncé. He's the one you got to have the right hair and makeup with all the time. Because for this frog it's all about appearances. But when the crap hits the fan, when life gets hard, when you aren't feeling like dressing the part, this frog just can't seem to hang around. He isn't interested in hearing about your day or your life or the real you. Oh but he's the first to come calling when there's a party, an appearance, or you're looking especially hot in the new dress you bought. This frog's greatest weakness is his inability to see the beauty of  a true princess has nothing to do with her body or her style of dress. It's in knowing and loving her heart.

Then there's the frog you date for thrills. This dude has been around the block and has seen a world you've never known. He has the exciting stories to tell. He is adventurous to hop around with him. If it's not his latest escapade or drama it's his bad boy lifestyle that makes you feel like alive. But, once it comes time to sit this frog down and talk about feelings,  you will realize that for him it's the thrill of the chase he loves. He is not a frog who stays. He is not interested in savoring the place where two people can actually fall in love.

There are the frogs who will use you. These frogs dangle a relationship in front of you like meat. You a deprived lionesses is begging for him to drop it. But it's a tease. The bait on the end of the line is a relationship, one he will never give you. He plans to keep casting, taunting, and teasing you. These frogs will tempt you with the idea of committing, but never come through. I've also kissed frogs who just don't give a shit how they treat a lady.

Kissing frogs hasn't all been in vain. I'm definitely a stronger woman for it. Because I've kissed the frogs - I know kissing the prince will be much sweeter. It's a kiss that comes with knowing the man on the other side is going to love you even after your relaxer fades, after he's seen you crying, after he's seen your goofy side. It's the prince that somehow finds you beautiful on the most mundane days. He sees you inside and out. He is a man who loves your inner passion as much as your outer beauty.

So here's a toast of sorts to the frogs of the past... the many failed kisses that helped me get to place where I can one day embrace the kisses of a prince who cares and isn't afraid to show it.

My Hometown

Even in the most picturesque of places, cities, towns, and counties, I’ve missed you.  I ached for the mist of salty sea water, the sight of naval ports, and ships. I wanted to escape, and run back to you, remember those old houses, neighborhoods, and parks I used to play on.  Remember what it was like to wake up to you every morning. This is my love for my hometown.

If I could I would go back to the bus stop where I met a feisty, fiery girl who helped me adjust to this new suburban city life known as Hampton Roads. She pushed me, tearing down my shyness, pulling out the girl in me, and stood tall for me when I couldn’t stand the bullies. I used those lessons to protect my second best friend, when I grew apart from the fiery one.  She was so much smaller than me I felt I had to be her defender. We laughed, wore matching outfits, and exchanged gossip like stocks on Wall Street. If I could I would go back to that line of duplexes next to the park. That’s where she lived. I can see us walking back to her house after band camp, planning a weekend of girlie sleep overs. Times, boyfriends, rifts, and backstabbing tore us apart. If I could I’d stand on the sidewalk and go back to that moment I knew I had to walk away. It would not be the last time I would have to do this. So much of my hometown reminds me of the reunion, the fights, and the realization that we couldn’t be sisters anymore. We couldn’t be the way we once were. This is my hometown.

 

While I’m lingering in my past adolescence, I’d walk past my old middle school. I went to my first dance there, tried to shed my Tomboy ways there, and crushed hard for boys who didn’t notice me there.  Realized growing up was hard there.  My high school is not far from here.  The entrance to the school is a long paved road leading to large parking lot.  Back in time I’d stand in that parking lot and wish that my adolescence self knew half of what I know now. I’d take a deep breath, and inhale the pleasures and the pains of my teen life. The marching band practices, the dances, the boys, the first kiss, and the first heart ache. The football field and track is locked, keeping my memories of the football games, marching band performances, and girlfriend secrets under the bleachers.  This is my hometown.

I like to remember sitting outside our first brown town home, fresh from Mississippi, bright eyed and naïve. I wondered what this place called Virginia Beach had in store for us. I’d get asked out to a dance for the first time in front of that brown house, fight with my friend over the same boy, and escape the vicious teeth of a pit bull that chased me on top of a car.  I like to drive through all the old neighborhoods we lived in. We lived in so many houses. Places that contained my dreams, my hurt, my family, and housed the bitter divorce battle that almost consumed us.  This is my hometown.

These sidewalks lead me home then lead me away to my adulthood. These roads know the map of my adolescence, the miles I logged to be near love, the sadness I felt when my dreams didn’t true out right. All the interstates, tunnels, and roads I traveled when I had to leave you to discover the world and become me. Tears cover those paths. Whenever I left to go to another job, another love, another city, another town I never stopped thinking about you. Those tunnels used to scare me so much, made me feel boxed in, trapped, and worried. I know now I ached most because I was leaving you. It was as if rough hands gripped my heart, and squeezed it until it burned. This is my love for my hometown.

That old ranch house is where I thought I’d spend my last days with my mom. She confessed to us cancer was invading her body, and our lives.  The words cracked into me, leaving me with excruciating shock. I remember running to the street that night so she couldn’t see me cracking, tearing, ripping, and falling apart. A boyfriend I no longer call my own held me as I wept.  Friends brought casseroles, pies, cakes, and so much love our house seemed to radiate warmth. Her hair fell out, surgeons took her breast, but God gave brought her back to me. There in that same rancher where I thought we’d lose it all, God restored us in a way I never knew possible. We are a family, healed, reunited, and conquering the past. This is my hometown.  Then I drive back to the new home where we became a family again, and hurt became a distant memory.

As I return to you, I am different now and so are you.  I am braver, stronger, and more accepting of the roads I had to travel to get back to you.  You have changed with your new restaurants, developments, and people. But I know underneath we still know other.  At any moment we can go back to those childhood beginnings here, the ripping, numbing discomfort of those growing pains, and the release of being breaking free from those bondages.  Now I get to carve out a new chapter with you, in a new home of my own, and a new way. There is no saying where this path will end, but I am so overjoyed we have another chance to write a turn a new page in our story. This is my love for my hometown.

Inspired by Adele 19 ‘Hometown Glory