#MakeupMonday: My Favorite Makeup YouTubers

#MAKEUPMONDAY: My FAVORITE MAKEUP YOUTUBERS

I am not a makeup artist by any means. I blog about makeup because I LOVE IT, and it makes me feel good! I try tutorials but they always seem terrible..... I want to blog about the psychology of makeup, why it makes you feel a certain way, and what makeup has done to restore my psyche and my confidence... This is LOLO's #MAKEUPMONDAYS.


 A lot of what I learned about makeup was from my time as a television journalist, and sales associate at Bath & Body Works in college. As a tv reporter for nearly 10 years I had all kind of image consultants tell me my good colors, shadows I should stay away from, somehow no one managed to tell me how to cover dark circles. ANYWHO--- Bath & Body Works taught me how to take care of my skin --- BUT REAL TALK YOUTUBE TAUGHT ME THE REST.

As many of you know I live with depression/anxiety disorder and in the depths of my despair Youtube was the only thing that comforted me. There were days at a time I'd lay in my room and sleep. DAYS! Honestly, this is so sad to say but I was so depressed Friday night after work I'd close myself in my room and stay there til Monday. I would not eat, shower, or call anyone. The times I was awake I'd turn to Youtube. I watched the Kardashians, Jose Ayala ( an amazing Youtuber , search him), Kandee Johnson, E News, Josh Leyva, David Alvareezy, Lily Singh, Miranda Sings. 

I'm not sure why but these storytellers spoke to me in my valley especially Jose Ayala. Jose or SLAY MONSTER as I like to call him is a gay, 22 year old in New York. He Youtubes about everything his life, his diabetes, his sexual escapades, depression, and he was a ray of sunshine when I wanted to kill myself. Real talk sometimes watching Jose stopped me from trying to overdose.

Earlier this year, when I was much healtheir I tweeted him this one day and he tweeted me back. I broke down in tears, that man only the knows the half of how he helped me. His real, raw Youtube videos made me laugh, and even in my darkness I thought if Jose can face the world as a gay man with outrageous style why can't I. HE also TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE IMPORTANT OF BLENDING... And this is how this connects to #MakeUpMonday

Here are the top Youtubers/Creators I love for teaching me some key #MAKEUPTIPS

@awwimjose or Jose Ayala - For teaching me how to blend. Jose talks about his sex life like no other. He is unapologetic and proud of who he is. I fucking love it. I hope to be that bold. During his Youtube videos he's often multi-tasking, and one day Jose showed how he put on his makeup and then I learned I wasn't blending my foundation at all.. where have I been?

-Kandee Johnson for being freaking amazing . Kandee is an amazing makeup artist. She can take any look and transform herself. Kandee taught me the POWER of MAKEUP. I am no where near as talented as Kandee but I love her tutorials. The incredible thing about Youtube is, it really can make you famous. People like Kandee deserve the fame. I've seen her all kind of shows and her personality radiates. She took tells amazing stories about her life. She's another personality that inspires me to keep telling my story no matter how hard or ugly it may seem. Thank you for being a light dear. 

Here's one of my favorite Kandee Johnson Transformations

-Benefits Cosmetics for the best, simplest tutorials Gosh I like a lot of makeup Youtube pages, but Benefit Cosmetics is one of my LOVES! Their videos are short, simple, and they make a makeup amateur like me feel like a superstar. It's my understanding that Benefit specializes in brows and eyelashes..and trust me they have amazing products. I'm a believer in their brow line it's amazing. 

-The Kardashians #KUWTK - Ok NO SHADE - if you follow this blog you know I love the Kardashians especially Khloe. We're kindred spirits. But, the Kardashians got into the beauty industry a few years back and I totally wanted to jump on board. Truth be told I wasn't expecting a whole lot, but I can testify that Kardashian Beauty is really good. I love their honey sticks, lip sticks, and glosses. This is me with one of their lip sticks on.



Now Kylie Jenner has the ungettable lip kits, and a eyeshadow palette that looks to die for. One of these days I'm going to get one of her products just to see what all the hype is about.
Umm did you know the social media queen that is Kim Kardashian West has her on Youtube Channel? Of course she does, cause she's a BOSS . Say what you will about Kim, but I love her drive, her business savy, and her social media dominance.

- ME ! Good Girl Chronicles- Ok this is vain, but can I show a little love to myself? I'm a #makeupvlogger, an amateur one but a blogger none the less. So I'll be posting about the emotion behind makeup and offering tips I learn along the way. I'd love a follow--- 

#LOLOSADVENTURES: LOLO & 'The Hustler'

Recently, I made the terrible mistake of moving in with a man I'll call 'The Hustler'. Under different circumstances I would have never moved in with this man. He knew me as a television reporter in Hampton Roads and would excessively call me trying to "manage me". He seemed like a hustler then, but as many of you know housing as been an issue for you so I rolled the dice and moved in with two weeks ago.

Needless to say my concerns were valid. I shared some of my story of what happened with 'The Hustler' on Facebook live. At the time I laughed about it, but understand what happened was not a laughing matter. It was scary and could have went a lot of different ways. Humor is my way of coping with difficult circumstances. A follower of mine wrote me an email after watching my Facebook live. He said I was ungrateful to a man who was trying to help me, because I poked fun at 'The Hustler's' quirks. Trust me, these laughs were hiding real fear, and hurt. Here's my story of what went down with 'The Hustler'.

For the complete story subscribe to www.laurenhope.co or email me at teamgoodgirl84@gmail.

#WomenWhoSlay: Dejah Jones " I Wish I Knew You" Part One

#WomenWhoSlayWednesday: Dejah Jones “I Wish I Knew You”

She was beauty. Dark hair, light skin, and a radiant smile; Dejah Jones was beauty. Our paths never crossed in life, but as her soul rests in heaven I have an intense desire to know your heart honey. I want to know what lead up to that tragic day in April when the world lost a beautiful spirit like you.

If you don’t know who Dejah Jones is, you should. I say is, because I feel her spirit still graces her family every day. Dejah Jones, IS a 14  year old beautiful spirit who took her own life April 16, 2016. 

As a suicide attempt survivor I  know that depth of sadness. Dejah’s story came into my life as I was healing from my last major depressive episode, one that took nearly two years of my life. I heard her story on the morning news, and for some reason I was intensely sad about it. I started researching everything I could about her, her family, and the school she attended.

I learned that her family felt intense bullying was to blame for Dejah’s suicide, and before I could think about it something in my heart said I had to meet them. I was bullied as a teenager, and often wanted to run away from home to escape my bullies the next day at school. But, bullying back in my day was nothing like it is now. Bullies go to Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and publicly torture kids. I did a special report on Cyberbullying when I was a news reporter in Hampton Roads, so I know how intense it can get.

I decided if nothing else I’d attend the Newport News Public School Board meeting where Dejah’s family had planned to be. 

When I arrived I felt so out of place. I didn’t have a news van with me or a microphone like I did in my reporter days. It was just me a notebook, a Blackberry, and an intense desire to understand Dejah’s story.

Several parents were there, and even some teenagers had come to speak about how bullying affected them. The reporter in me expected for Dejah’s family to be furious, angry even. They weren’t. When Dejah’s cousin spoke about her death I could tell he had come to a place of peace and forgiveness, but he still wanted answers. 

Why did Dejah have to die? What is the school doing to prevent bullies from pushing another kid this low?

The school board was sympathetic. They stated that they sent out letters to parents, and were working on ways to prevent bullying in the future. Dejah’s death had rocked a community. When I researched her stories, I found it had gone national. It mystified people that such a beautiful girl with so much potential and family support would take her own life. It didn’t mystify me. On the outside, I know I seemed like I had the world at my feet. But, during the last few years of my television career I was miserable, depressed, and suicidal myself.

I decided since I came all the way out to Newport News to blog I should make an attempt to meet Dejah’s family. As a reporter, I was typically always nervous to meet victim’s families, this time I was different. I had no camera, no deadline, no agenda I just wanted to send my condolences, and let them know I understood their pain.

“My name is Lauren, and I am suicide attempt survivor. I used to work for the news, but I’m a blogger now. I just wanted you to know that part of my mission is mental health advocacy and I’d love to help you if I can.”

To my surprise her family fully embraced me.

Dejah’s family was so welcoming. At least two relatives hugged me, and we all exchanged numbers. And, thus begun my  mission to educate others on Dejah’s story and the terrible effects of bullying.

TO BE CONTINUED--- I’ll tell you how Dejah’s family welcomed me to her amazing event, and asked me to speak. It was a huge step for me, my second public speech on my depression, and a big step in my recovery.

Many thanks to Dejah’s family for allowing me to tell her story

WomenWhoSlayWednesday: When A Good Girl Gives Up Part Two

#WomenWhoSlayWednesday: When A Good 

Girl Gives Up Part 2

This is a continuation of the #WomenWhoSlayWednesday entry, “When A Good Girl Gives Up” WARNING: This is my story of my first suicide attempt.

I tried to overdose, then laid on the floor waiting to fade away. I thought about who would find me lying peacefully on the floor. This is so unbelievably morbid, and I’m ashamed to type this but it’s my truth. As a television reporter I knew there was a chance my station would never tell my story. Television stations I've worked for didn’t report suicides unless the person was a public figure. I hadn’t really risen to that level of fame so I imagined I’d fade into the distant memory of Hampton Roads viewers. That sucks to type. Gosh this is a hard blog to write.

My first suicide attempt was in May of 2014, and it still brings tears to my eyes. It tears my heart up to know I was so depressed that I wanted to die. Well, as I laid there on the floor wondering what death would feel like something in me panicked.

“What would Sara think?” I thought to myself.

My sister has Down Syndrome. She’s in her 20’s physically but mentally she’s like a school aged child. If you know anything about adults with special needs it’s like they are forever children mentally.  God I’m so ashamed….. It would have really did a number on my sister if I had died. I know that now. I do. My sister saw my parents go through a nasty divorce where they argued around her constantly, her favorite celebrity Michael Jackson died, she lost my Aunt Doris who was her best friend, and I didn’t want to be responsible for more heartache. So as much as I wanted to die that day I picked up the phone.

“Hey, mom! I’ve done something bad,” I said. My mother could always tell in the tone of my voice when I was sad.

“What happened Lauren?” she replied.

“I took some pills and I’m scared,” I replied. Before long my father was knocking at the door.

“Lauren, why did you do this?” he asked in his direct Navy father tone. I needed him to hug me in that moment, tell me it was going to be OK. But, my father bless her heart just doesn’t operate that way.

I very heartlessly replied, “I don’t know.” Before long my Dad was on the phone with my psychiatrist. They both agreed I should go to the emergency room. Long story short the doctors flushed the drug out of my system, and I survived my first suicide attempt. After that I was transported to the psychiatric section of Chesapeake Regional Hospital, and I waited for hours for a psychiatrist to clear me fit to return home. It took ages. When she finally arrived it was close to 3:00 a.m. She explained psychiatrist like her where always overworked and short staffed. She had gone to several hospitals accessing people’s mental health before reaching me. To me this ia a reflection of the tremendous mental health needs in our state, hell in our society. I had tried to commit suicide and it took hours for someone to be able to talk to because staffing is so thin.

The psychiatrist then asked me a series of questions. What was making me sad? What was I doing up until the point of my potential overdose? What stressors were affecting me? Did I have a preoccupation with death?

My responses: everything made me sad, I was researching ways to die the day of my first suicide attempt. My stressors: a hellish, at times toxic career, a man who would rather sleep with a married woman than love me, parents who didn’t understand, shame, guilt, anger, betrayal, and an intense sense of worthless, a feeling that if anyone in my high powered television career knew my pain they’d brand me as crazy and kick me off air. Oddly, death seemed like the best escape from my intense pain.

The therapist left the room, called my mother and came back in my hospital room.

“Lauren, I think you are severely depressed. I am recommending you go to the Virginia Beach Psychiatric Center for a few days. You’ll get stabilized on my anti-depressant meds, have group therapy, and you can recover from this,” she said in a soft voice.

“Well, I can’t leave work that long. People will worry,” I responded. Even in my depression I was still worried about what people thought of and my on-air persona.

“Listen Lauren this is serious. We can do this two ways. You can go willingly or I can have police come to your home access your risk and bring you to the psych ward in the back of a police car.”

With those options, I gave in… and a few days before Memorial Day I spent five days at Virginia Beach Psychiatric Center. 

TO BE CONTINUED…..

NO Bling is Worth this: A Very Bad Customer Service Experience

I can't tell you how unprofessional this corporate jeweler I visited was.. I'll leave their name out but just know their slogan says something about kisses.

 I got an account from this jeweler earlier this spring. I shop at Greenbrier Mall frequently where this  Jeweler is located. I quickly made friends with the sales associates and the manager. I even purchased a lot of gifts for the associates  under the $25 price range. I did this because at first they were so incredibly nice. I am a blogger and social media consultant and at first the customer service was amazing.

Things changed when I started window shopping in the store. The manager told me, 'This is not the kind of store where you window shop. IF you want one on one customer service come on weekdays." I thought that was odd, but I complied. Then in conversation the manager said, "You're not doing anything with your life." He also told me one of his associates with a bum and couldn't kick his cigarette habit even if he tried. Full disclosure this manager asked me repeatedly to work at his store. After I heard how he talked about his own associates I declined. I've also seen this manager reprimand staff out on the sales floor. I mean real rude like. Um, nope not signing up for that.

I am a suicide attempt survivor and I live with depression coming to the mall was a source of comfort and a way to get over my social anxiety this manger hurt me deeply. What really did me in was when one of the necklaces broke me out. I literally had red blotches on my neck. I called their associate who told me I was wrong and hung up on me. I then called The mean manager and he said there was nothing he could do. I went to their sister store  and the associate investigated the issue. Turns out I'm allergic to their necklace cleaner. Had the mean manager investigated we could stopped this whole issue.

Fustrated I returned several items to the jeweler trying to return items cause I was so disgusted with their service. I couldn't really afford the jewelry anyway and the service was getting worse. If they think you don't have money they wont service you I've seen this happen way too many times, especially towards black customers. Not all the associates are that way but I've seen this happen. I've worked in retail before this is wrong.

As a social media consultant I called the store when it was reported The jeweler was giving out fake diamonds in repairs. I wanted to offer some advice. I thought them they could weather it and not to worry. I regret making friends with these people.

I even talked to the District manager and the company. All I asked for was an apology and possibly to asbolve my bill so I could walk away from the company. The district manager said , 'You want an apology? ' She then was like , "Why are you going in the store if you don't like us?" She told me the company would review the tapes to see how many times I was in the store so I've stopped going in all together. I wont put up with rudeness.

And get this the company is rewarding the mean mangers bad customer service. Word is he being the  being promoted in the company, and given 2 free vacations, even though he has a history of being rude to females. ( See Google review) . He basically told me to get out of the store and I was pouting cause I didn't get my way. Trust me this company may talk about kisses they have no love for their customers . They will not be getting my money anymore or any of their affiliates.

You don't treat people way. terrible just terrible. Royally pissed off. I'm coming forward now because it is clear the company is not going to do anything to stop this mean manager from cutting people down. So this is me trying real hard to let go....