#WomenWhoSlayWednesday: Dejah Jones “I Wish I Knew You”
She was beauty. Dark hair, light skin, and a radiant smile;
Dejah Jones was beauty. Our paths never crossed in life, but as her soul rests
in heaven I have an intense desire to know your heart honey. I want to know
what lead up to that tragic day in April when the world lost a beautiful spirit
like you.
If you don’t know who Dejah Jones is, you should. I say is,
because I feel her spirit still graces her family every day. Dejah Jones, IS a
14 year old beautiful spirit who took
her own life April 16, 2016.
As a suicide attempt survivor I know that
depth of sadness. Dejah’s story came into my life as I was healing from my
last major depressive episode, one that took nearly two years of my life. I
heard her story on the morning news, and for some reason I was intensely sad
about it. I started researching everything I could about her, her family, and
the school she attended.
I learned that her family felt intense bullying was to blame
for Dejah’s suicide, and before I could think about it something in my heart said I had to meet them. I was
bullied as a teenager, and often wanted to run away from home to escape my
bullies the next day at school. But, bullying back in my day was nothing like
it is now. Bullies go to Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and publicly torture kids.
I did a special report on Cyberbullying when I was a news reporter in Hampton
Roads, so I know how intense it can get.
I decided if nothing else I’d attend the Newport News Public
School Board meeting where Dejah’s family had planned to be.
When I arrived I
felt so out of place. I didn’t have a news van with me or a microphone like I
did in my reporter days. It was just me a notebook, a Blackberry, and an
intense desire to understand Dejah’s story.
Several parents were there, and even some teenagers had come
to speak about how bullying affected them. The reporter in me expected for
Dejah’s family to be furious, angry even. They weren’t. When Dejah’s cousin
spoke about her death I could tell he had come to a place of peace and
forgiveness, but he still wanted answers.
Why did Dejah have to die? What is
the school doing to prevent bullies from pushing another kid this low?
The school board was sympathetic. They stated that they sent
out letters to parents, and were working on ways to prevent bullying in the future. Dejah’s
death had rocked a community. When I researched her stories, I found it had
gone national. It mystified people that such a beautiful girl with so much
potential and family support would take her own life. It didn’t mystify me. On
the outside, I know I seemed like I had the world at my feet. But, during the
last few years of my television career I was miserable, depressed, and suicidal
myself.
I decided since I came all the way out to Newport News to
blog I should make an attempt to meet Dejah’s family. As a reporter, I was
typically always nervous to meet victim’s families, this time I was different.
I had no camera, no deadline, no agenda I just wanted to send my condolences,
and let them know I understood their pain.
“My name is Lauren, and I am suicide attempt survivor. I
used to work for the news, but I’m a blogger now. I just wanted you to know
that part of my mission is mental health advocacy and I’d love to help you if I
can.”
To my surprise her family fully embraced me.
Dejah’s family was so welcoming. At least two relatives
hugged me, and we all exchanged numbers. And, thus begun my mission to educate others on Dejah’s story
and the terrible effects of bullying.
TO BE CONTINUED--- I’ll tell you how Dejah’s family welcomed
me to her amazing event, and asked me to speak. It was a huge step for me, my
second public speech on my depression, and a big step in my recovery.
Many thanks to Dejah’s family for allowing me to tell her
story
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