Three dates, three weeks, one chance meeting in Richmond City Hall. That's all it took for Lolo to get smitten. For now I'm not sure where we stand.
For starters I am NOT City Hall's girlfriend. We are getting to know each other. He is funny and kind. He told me my stretch marks were beautiful. He complimented my smile, and said he loved my hustle. I was so proud of myself for sliding him my number. Even though he is younger than me City Hall has drive, and heart. He has real estate plans in Richmond, and an amazing prototype I want to help him promote with social media. In a short amount of time I have made City Hall a habit. We text when he isn't juggling work, his daughter or his family responsibility. The dude has five brothers, and in the Latin community family looks out for one another. But I always want for more. That's who I am. I am slightly needy and skeptical about men.
"I will find dirt on you City Hall. I always do," I said.
"Trust me you won't," he laughed.
I kept searching and he was right. I looked in New York, and Virginia anything to prove he was another man playing me. Fuck it's happened too many times to count. I am tired of being played so I've turned into one of those women I said I would never be. I expect City Hall and all men to fail me. I do and that sucks. I have lost my romantic spirit. The part of me that expects a man to do wonderful things for me.
I mean look at my history. One past love wrote blogs about me and shared it; even though he knew it could tarnish my reputation. One past love yelled at me, slammed doors in my face, told me he hated me repeatedly, and said my recovery from depression killed him; even though it saved me. The man I thought was the love of my life impregnated two women within a year of each other and then married one of his baby mamas. Then this GQ looking fella had the nerve to say he wished it was us that got married. Yea that was an appropriate thing to say. I would like to say I dumped all of these men once, but I did not. I went back for seconds. Like Rihanna said on her Rated R album, there were all Cold Cases Love and I let them reach me one more time. That's enough.
I am broken. I am tired. And I am bitter so City Hall is a breathe of fresh air. There are no expectations. WE just enjoy one another, and I need that. Even though I struggle trusting him as far as I could throw him. That is on me. He has done nothing to show he can't be trusted.
I want to believe in Disney love, but I can't. The real world has shown me that sometimes Prince Charming is a wolf in sheep's clothing. He comes smelling good, looking divine, and talking sweet. Then he destroys. He takes your confidence, he steps on all your hard work, he tramples your good name, and then he leaves without a care in the world. That is my love life y'all. I was too stupid and too trusting in my twenties and it lead to too much heartbreak. I vowed after my depression to never be that chick again. NEVER. I won't let a man willing play me again. I will hit the door before it happens. Call it childish. I can't do it anymore. My heart won't do it. I am crying because I am sad this is the woman I am. I was a hopeless romantic. I believe in Corinthians, but I am human and God I'm tired. Let's just work on me for a while. Let's just hustle hard to get Good Girl Chronicles off the ground. Cause I can't take another man pretending to me one thing, taking from me and leaving. Then he gets married, and suddenly becomes a good family man. I can't do it God. I need a break from this love thing. It hurts too damn much.
So here's where City Hall comes in. He is part of two sports leagues, helps his large Latino family, a baby daughter, and a baby mama. There is simply not a lot of room for me right now. He sincerely tries. He texts in the morning, and at his lunch break. He texts on weekends and on a few occasions has called even though he struggles with phone conversations. I can't help but appreciate the fact that he is trying. Isn't that what I say I want all the time, a man who will try, a man with potential, and drive?
I adore City Hall dearly for being cute, sweet, and funny. For the first kiss and the sweet texts. For sharing that sandwich our first lunch when I refused to eat, for showing me the observatory deck, and giving me an ounce of hope that a guy like you could like a girl like me. I adore you for the kiss on the cheek and the nice hug, and that damn smile from the City Hall counter. The smile that made me be brave slide you my number. Thank you City Hall for making this broken women feel sexy, fabulous, and fierce. I already knew it but when you came into my life you reaffirmed it. That's what I think a good guy does.
Until next time City Hall.... until next time........ It's like that Miguel song... Sure Thing. Do right by me City Hall I do right by you.
I gotta say even though me and Mama Lolo butt heads a lot I love that chick. I always will. Now that I am in my thirties (Geez it hurts to type that) I understand a lot of the knowledge she handed down as a kid. When she spouted off at the mouth when I was younger I laughed it off. Mama Lolo is always speaking about a wives tale or a Mississippi tale. Like if you dream of fish someone is going to have a baby. Mom what? What if I just watched 'Finding Nemo'? Or better yet don't buy a man shoes he will use them to walk all over you and then leave. Mom WTF. What if my mom loves shoes. She'd nod her head no, and give me a smirk. That is our relationship. So here are a few, and I mean a few lessons I've Mama Lolo has handed down to little Lolo. Some are down right hilarious.
1.) Mama Lolo: "Lauren, if a man is hugging you all the time, he's not being nice. He's feeling your breasts."
Me: "Mom, what? Men hug me all the time at work. They are beginning friendly."
Mama Lolo: "Lauren," she would saying eyeing my ample breasts. (I've been busty my whole life y'all) "You have to start thinking like men. When they hug you, they press against you don't they? Maybe they linger too long. Trust me they are feeling your breasts."
Me: :::::dumbfounded:::::: "Well ok Mom. I'll stop being so generous with the hugs. Geez." Big breasted women have it hard in these streets.
2. Mama Lolo :"Lauren when are you going to wear this dress?"
Lauren: "When I lose like 25 pounds."
Mama Lolo: "What if you never lose the 25 pounds?
Seriously mom talk about sabotage. I will lose the weight but not with your negative attitude. (People this was all in my head I would never speak to Mama Lolo way. I'm sure she's smack the shit out of me.)
Mama Lolo : "Lauren, look at me I have stage three breast cancer. I don't know if tomorrow is promised to me. So I tell you honey live like you won't lose the weight, live like there is no tomorrow. You never know what life will throw at you and we only get one life. Make it count baby. Make it count."
God this makes me cry. My mother beat that cancer and is still here to give me shit. Thank God so many moms don't get that chance. And, she was right that day. I try hard to do this everyday sometimes I fall short but I try. When I lost my Aunt Doris, it further let me know that you have to do it up big while you're here. You just do. Thanks Mama Lolo for fighting that cancer for us (God i can't stop crying. This is supposed to be funny) and for fighting to be with us. Thank you God for bringing that fierce woman back to us. You knew I needed her a little while longer.
3. Mama Lolo: " Some people will peak in high school Lauren. They just will. Don't worry about the fact that no one dates you, cheers for you, or wants to hang with you. This is not your time honey. BE glad you have yet to reach your peak."
I thought to myself this is bullshit. This is what moms say to kids who are unpopular. I am finding she may have been right. I still don't think I am at my peak y'all but now I'm chasing it with all my heart and soul. Joel Osteen says God will give you things you never dreamed of. I never dreamt of an office, a cute Latin boy toy, tv friends, popular young professional friends like the ones at P40, or even driving a Beetle around town, or being called sexy anything. But here I am. So yea maybe Mama Lolo is right Lauren Hope hasn't reached her peak yet.
4. Mama Lolo: "Don't worry all the big sizes go first."
WTF is this something that moms says to their fat kids. Look I was skinny for a season in my life. But in high school I was the frumpy friend. I just was. Boys dated my skinny, hot girlfriends not me. They talked to me about other hot chicks. Thats why I have so many guy friends they tell me weird shit about women. Stupid shit women do. I connect with them. But this whole business of big sizes going first in the store---I wasn't buying it. In high school I just thought I was fat and therefore being punished by the retail Gods.
Turns out Mama Lolo is right here too. I shop plus size stores and a lot of the POPULAR sizes go fast which is my size, a size 16, 14 on a good day. I read somewhere the average woman is a size 14. A size 14 and they consider that plus size. Whatever. In the past, retailers didn't buy a lot of these sizes, but the tide is changing. Stores like Torrid, The Limited, Old Navy are stepping up with cute, sexy, professional clothes for plus size women. They are the key places I shop now. They get it, and they give coupons like crazy.
5. Mama Lolo: "Love you Lauren. You are the only you, you get. At the end of the day you have to look in the mirror and be ok with the decisions you made. So love you first, and do what makes you proud no one else. And, know that God loves you no matter what."
This one took a long time to learn, and I still struggle. Sometimes I chase love in my job, in men, my friends, my accomplishments. God shows me every time that is futile. It all comes from Him. I grateful my mom knew that and worked hard to instill that in me. Even though sometimes I try to conquer the world with my own hands, I am reminded sometimes all you can do is pray. Even though I try to lose weight fast to appease other people I remember I am hungry and that is not my walk. And when I look in the mirror I remember I AM THE ONLY ME I GET--BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. And then I repeat, "You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful no matter what they say, words can't break me down. Now hold your head up, slay this makeup, and then go slay this day.
It's time to get real y'all. Since certain people took it upon themselves to call me really dirty things on Facebook, I think it's time Lolo fires back. It's clap back season y'all. But, I will do it the classy way. I won't say their names or hint at who they are. They have been blocked anyway. That's how I do business. Since these people can't pick up the phone or talk to me like an adult I won't let their names roll off my lips or my keyboard. That would be too kind. Why do people hate me for loving Kim Kardashian West? I've thought about this long and hard since I wrote the blog 'Kim K is Naked Again and I'm Conflicted'. In fact I cried over it, lost sleep over it, cursed over it, walked away from a high school reunion I adored for it. I have come to some conclusions as to why people hate Kim Kardashian and therefore hate me for liking her. She's a Dream Stealer Kim K has stolen our American Dream, and we can't stand the fact that a sex-loving woman is making a mockery of capitalism. If you ask me the chick is laughing all the way to the bank, and is showing how great capitalism is. There is literally room for everyone. Kim Kardashian West's fame may have come from the sex tape but trust me that chick was on her grind way before E came calling. When I like someone I do research. Kim was a closet organizer back in the day, cleaning out celebrity closets, selling the old stuff online, and then buying new stuff to update their style. She did this for Scottie Pippen's wife Lara, Paris Hilton, and so many others. (Kind of ironic that no one cares about Paris now) I mean who knew that job even existed? Kim will also tell you she always wanted to be famous. So way before Ryan Searcest's production company struck gold with the Kardashians, Kim was signing up to do every photo shoot, movie, or small bit piece to get noticed. It just so happens that took notice when she hooked up with Ray J on camera.
Let's talk about that. What did she actually do wrong here? Have sex with her boyfriend at the time ? (that dog) Show her ass in great angles? Videotape the whole ordeal leaving it wide open for anyone to potentially see? I choose C your honor. Kim was a consenting adult. She had every right to be having sex with her boyfriend. But, as a woman with fame on the mind she should have been smart enough not to tape it. Who knows maybe her or Kris Jenner leaked it themselves, those clever bitches. After the tape, Kim's reality show was taking off and so was her fame. I'm sorry Kim Kardashian West is good television especially in the earlier episodes. She can be a little boring now. That's why I rock with Khloe that chick is always slaying and always keeping it real. But, I am distracted.
I read a Glamour article written by Kim after the sex tape scandal. She said she felt terrible that Kylie and Kendall, teenagers at the time, had to read about their big sister in that way. She also said she didn't know who leaked the tape, and was embarrassed. She is either a good liar or she really felt guilty. I'm not so sure. Her willingness to strip naked at any given notice tells me she may have liked all the attention. But you have to remember Kim is a businesswoman so of course she set out to make money off her sex tape. Yes, that bitch went to a lawyer and said if people are going to be making money off me doing the nasty I want a cut. So every time some horny college student or curious housewife downloads Kim K's tape she makes bank. Um, yes please. If I made the the stupid mistake of having sex with Ray--let that sink in--having sex with Ray then taping it I'd want someone to get in trouble or somehow I break even. That's just me. That doesn't make me a slut either. I am a 31 year old single woman who has a sexual past who doesn't at this age? Please tell me. If it is a hot man, give him my number, and we'll run away together. So many men my age have high body counts (number of women they have slept with). Sorry again I am getting distracted.
She's a Rich Bitch
So far people hate me because I admire a businesswoman with a unique skill set, and she had sex with her boyfriend on camera. Ok next one. People hate the Kardashians because they are living the good life. But people don't you know they were living the good life way before Kim's sex tape? I mean their dad was fucking Robert Kardashian. He was on O.J. Simpson's legal team. Trust me those bitches never wanted for anything growing up. Now they are followed by paparazzi so you see it all the time. You feel like they are rubbing it in your face. Well I am here to tell you. Change the channel, don't follow them on social media, buy the app that allows you to block Kardashians on your computer (it exists). Those chicks are everywhere. Slaying, grinding, hustling they are everywhere. And, don't get me started on my slaymonster Kylie Jenner. You have a choice on how much Kardashian you consume. And actually mine is minimal. Ask people who know me I'm really obsessed with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Please hate on me for that please. I'll come clapping back with even more shit. At 16, that man made me believe I could hold my head up high when everyone called me fat, ugly, unworthy, pretty much sent me home crying on a regular basis. That's the high school I remember. But it was more manageable escaping to The Rock's world where people who fucked with you got the smack laid down on them.
So now let's regroup, people hate me because I love a businesswoman, she likes sex, she recorded her sex, she capitalized on that, she is profitable, she is flashy, she likes nice things. Name me someone in your circle who isn't like this. Hell I am Kim K on some days. I love selfies, I am a slightly vain, and I love good clothes that hug my curvy body. I just do. If You Love Kim You're Bad Too Lolo Some young professionals laugh when I tell them this, but people have called me toxic, dangerous, immoral, unchristian, and a bitch for liking Kim K. When I meet Kim K and Khloe I'll be sure to tell them you said hello. Seriously, people what the fuck are we talking about here? This is a millionaire woman I may never meet, and I'm a shitty person cause I watch her show? Go have several seats please. It's not random people on the street who said this shit about me, it was my so called friends. People I called brother, sister, and ally. One person let his girlfriend I knew all of three days to blast me on Facebook but yet you can't answer the phone? Ok brother catch me on the other side. I forgive you for being a crappy friend, now I'll go rock with some people who can have a healthy debate without cutting someone down. Trust me that exists.
Here's the MESSAGE
Lastly, my blog on Kim K was about judgment and slut shaming. That was the point.
God convicted me about judgment. He said, "Lauren you are judgmental and harsh with people. Let me show you how that feels." So one night He encouraged me to write about Kim K posing nude again. I thought it would get some laughs. Oh boy was I wrong. I have never been so judged in my entire life. It hurt like hell. People were assuming things about me because of who I wrote about it. It didn't matter that I said I didn't agree with Kim posing nude again or that she should reserve her body for her husband. I also didn't think it was right all the slut shaming she was getting from her peers.Listen the woman is gorgeous she didn't need to pose nude to show us that. But, if she wanted to do that it was her prerogative. And you know what it was all a business ploy. The day that Kim posted that picture it was International Woman's Day. Kim claims she wanted to see if women really had risen above judgement so she posted her picture. Lessson: we're not there yet. That same day all of her Kardashian makeup was on sale. So trust me the exposure she got from that nude post brought her a lot of dough. You all got hoodwinked. It had so much to do with money it's funny. But, none of that mattered. I'm sure the people who came for me didn't read my blog, and that's ok. I learned a lot that day. That experience has made me a harder person. I have no time for negativity or drama now. You bring it you're gone. I simply have no time for it. God has set my heart on fire to help people with my business and to live an abundant life so please take the haterade to someone else. This chick doesn't have time. God pushes me everyday to speak on my depression which a certain so called friend's girlfriend said was a cry for attention. Yea chick come at me when you try to swallow antifreeze and then we'll talk. That's was my reality a year ago. I am stronger, and wiser. If you don't have anything nice to say or can't debate without being hurtful please step back. If you cut me down, yell, or come for me I will put you on the backburner in a heart beat. I will stop calling, hanging out, or chilling and that will be the end of it. I won't blast your good name online or make you feel small on Facebook feeds. All things that have been done to me. That's not my style. So please hate on me haters. I don't care. God says I am more than a conqueror. The weak will say they are strong. And a strong conqueror like me has big dreams. You're either on this train or not.
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The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. 8.5! This is was my first mistake. Never and I repeat never equate yourself to a number, an object, a celebrity, or another woman. The true value of what we have to give to friendships, relationships, to our lovers, and our family can never be measured. I learned this lesson the hard way. Unsure of how my man saw me, I asked him how he would rate me on a scale from 1 to 10. I should have known then our relationship was not genuine or even right for me. If someone is feeling you, and I mean really feeling you, you won’t need to read between the lines or play a numerical guessing game, or analyze everything he says. You will know! The feeling they have for you will manifest themselves in the way your man or woman treats you and cares for you.
Again, I asked my love interest, “What I am to you? On a scale from 1 to 10 where do you rate your feelings for me?” 8.5 folks that brotha gave me an 8.5. And, I proudly accepted my 8.5 like I was Miss America or winning a Best Actor award at the Oscars. What the hell was I thinking? Ironically, the same shallow, superficial evaluation I asked this man to give me was what I gave him in return, a relationship that warranted an 8.5. And, that my friends is being generous to this man. I’ll tell you how.
Miss America 2016 Congrats Betty!
8 - the month we reconnected. August the same month my stable heart got lost in your smile, which always had a way of killing me softly.
7-the number of emails I saved from our bullshit long distance friendship. You said you couldn’t be committed at the moment so I settled for friendship. With these emails I tried so hard to give you relief from your situations and stress. I anticipated your emails before work only to be rewarded with less than stellar responses like : ‘Hi’ , ‘Bye’ , ‘Thanks’. I mean really. Why couldn’t I see then that I was dating a douchebag. But like I said I tried to read between the lines and fill in what I wanted, or expected to receive.
6- the number of months you spent overseas protecting our country. The months it took for me to go crazy for you again. The number of months it took for me to remember what a good friend I thought you were. The months it took me to carve out a space for you in my heart. The months you stroked my heart only to break it.
5- the amount of time I told people you were different. You had changed, you had matured. The amount of time I told them I could handle it if you had not changed. I was wrong. They were right.
4- the amount of time you have been back. Four days. The amount of time I tried to understand your feelings for me. The amount of time I’ve tried to believe you were different. The amount of time you took to stroke my heart only to trample all over it. The amount of time it took for me to realize I didn’t matter to you. The amount of time I cried from disappointment. The amount of time tears saturated my pillow case.
3-the third week of March you decided you were done. You didn’t want me anymore. The third week of March you walked away with no goodbye, explanation, or reason. The third week of March you pretended to be interested, leading me on with your charm all the while you knew you were going to walk away.
2-the two weeks it took for me to GET it through my thick skull and deaf heart that you weren’t different, you were clever. You used my acceptance for your own pleasure. You hadn’t changed not one bit, why couldn’t I get over it? Better yet, why didn’t I see it?
1- the one day it took to change it all. We had planned to spend the day together, but you texted sorry. You said you would call later. It was Wednesday I didn’t hear from you and it must have been the last you wanted to hear from me. You only gave me this, an email that read: “It’s not what you think.” TRANSLATION “I’m just not that into you. Why is that so hard to say? One, the day it took for you to change your mind and confuse mine. One, the number of questions I still can’t understand. Why couldn’t you just tell me? One, the one vision I had of being there for you.
And finally .5, the amount of consideration you ever had for my feelings, the amount of care you showed me. The amount of time it took you to decide you were tired of this relationship. The amount of time it took to erase my existence. The amount of strength you had to justify leaving. The amount of respect you had for me as a person or friend.
But what could I expect really? I asked for 8.5 and I got just that an 8.5. So as I reach for 8.5 prize to reflect on my mistakes, I no longer feel the pride of a beauty pageant, or a child being rewards for good behavior. I feel crushed, trampled, and used. So take your 8.5 FUCKER and sell it to someone deserving, someone who’ll settle for less and take your emotional distance as a hearty serving. Because I want no reminder of the mess you’ve made. I’ll brush the dust off from where your trophy used to lie. And, I pray the next time you give yourself to someone else, you give them something that originates on the inside. You wive them something real, and make sure they never have to guess how you feel about them. And, whatever you do —don’t give them a damn 8.5.
SIDE NOTE: the man I wrote this about has long moved on. This heartbreak happened to me in college. I hope he is well. He has a child, and I think a love. I pray he learned to connect and communicate his feelings. I have long forgiven him, but I never forget.
Today’s Fine Fellas Friday doesn’t go to one man in particular. Today, I am praising the kind of man I want in my life.
Don’t get me wrong City Hall has been amazing. I think he is hot, funny, tender,
respectful, and ambitious. All things I love in a man. But, last night at a networking event, I talked to some amazing men. One was married, one was a
fine black man, the other looked like Gaston from Beauty & the Beast, and
one looked this white actor I couldn’t put my finger one. But, they all made me feel a certain type of
way, special, valued, and appreciated.
The Real Gaston. A very misunderstood Disney man. Maybe I'll blog on him one day too. I'd work on him.
I don’t know what will happen with City Hall. I adore him, and I shower him with compliments all day. That’s how I love. I am a 31 year woman who is in recovery from the worse depression of her life. God I can’t cry. I survived what so many people don’t and now God has set my heart on fire
to be an advocate, to help others who are suffering in silence. That is my new
life mission. Go find out about it at gofundme.com/teamgoodgirl.
Depression took everything; my job, my so called friends, my beautiful Chesapeake
condo, my parents respects, my heart and soul. But with God’s help I am
beating depression every day. My heart is heavy this
morning for everyone who has messaged me, texted me, or followed me. They have
told me to not stop fighting for them, to continue to speak for the mentally
ill. It is not an easy walk to be the public face of mental illness, but I guess that is my new path. I don’t want to say disorder because I am wild and free. I am not
disorderly.
I say this to say I am glad to be alive, and I love
intensely because of it. So if you rock with me understand I come correct. I support you, love you, compliment you, help you, the list goes on. I
believe in what Corinthians says about love. Love is patient, love is kind,
love hold no grudges. It’s like this Stacie Orricio song I love. It starts off
in the rain, and through it she talks about what God says about love. That’s
what love’s about. It is so comforting to me. It says to my war torn, battered
heart that God wants me to have an amazing love. And, sometimes that’s worth
fighting for.
City Hall in my opinion has the world on his shoulders. He
has several brothers. It seems he has a demanding family and a demanding dream.
I know what that is like. My love for television took all my energy sometimes I
rarely had any left for the men in my life. Now that I am a writer who shares
her triumph and pain in love on this blog. I am a free spirit. I am free to text during the day, call
in the morning, and dash across cities to see you at night. But, now for my next Mr. Wonderful I want to set my standards a whole lot higher. This is what I
require now.
The old Lauren Hope in her 20’s accepted a lot of shitty men. Men
who did not handle her heart, mind, soul or dreams properly. Did I ever tell
you about the idiot who wrote a blog about our relationship when I worked for a number one television station? Or how about the love of my life would go clubbing til 7 a.m., getting in bar fights, and impregnating two women in like two years. Damn I pick bad men. Oh I'll tell those stories one day in my memoir—I promise
you. With those kind of experiences behind me, I no longer trust immediately. I am the kind of chick who does background checks now (shouldn’t
everyone). I jump ship the minute I see there is drama, negativity, or
something toxic. And if you don’t have a dream or a hustle I can’t co-sign on
that either. I’ve tried to love men with no direction and it drains me.
So without
further ado here is my Fine Fellas Friday---the kind of man I want to fall in
love with MR. WONDERFUL
That is the name I will give him. I almost
fell in the trap of a Mr. Not So Wonderful earlier this year. He was a man who looked amazing on
the outside but turned out to be a douche in reality; a man who tried to get me
to sleep with him, while he was still legally married. I busted his ass, and talked to his heartbroken wife. I don't have time for petty men. NEXT! I won’t lose my integrity or morals over a man who wants a good time. My Mr. Wonderful will be like the Sade song ‘By
Your Side’. I love that song.
There is a scene in Sex & the City (y’all
know I love that show) where Samantha is on the roof top with a man named
Richard. They are dancing. She thinks the relationships is purely sex. Then this beautiful Sade song comes on, and instead of sexing her Richard does something far better: he
lifts her hands and they dance. It is intimate and sweet. Samantha is
not used to this kind of intimacy. Samantha beds the most attractive men New
York City has to offer, but few men have been this intimate with her. In that moment Richard and Samantha are just two people swaying to a sweet melody. For Samantha it is the beginning of
love. If you watch the show then you know that fucker Richard wasn’t really
ready for a bomb ass chick like Samantha and ended up cheating on her. TYPICAL
MAN!
God I cry every time I see this scene. Candace Bushnell (author of Sex and the City) and the writers of Sex and the City are brilliant. This show was my 20's, and it taught me so much about being a woman in love and in sex. Listen, I try hard not a bitter woman, I am just traveled. A lot of MEN will love you and
leave you. They just do. They will draw you in, promise the world, and abandon
you. I say FUCK emladies. Let’s wait around for the real Mr. Wonderful. The
kind of man that makes your knees buckle with his late night phone calls. Get
ready fine fellas and foxy ladies here is where it gets good. Here is my Mr.
Wonderful.
My Mr. Wonderful
He is strong. Not just on the outside though. He will be
brave enough to share his darkest pain and his greatest joy. He is HOT! Not
just on the outside though. He will have confidence that borders on cockiness.
Y’all know I love cocky men. (Go read Bar Confessions: I love Cocky Men if you
don’t know) Confidence is the sexiest thing a person can carry. It says they
believe in themselves, and in turn can believe in you. His masculinity is not threatened by others
because he knows he does the damn thang. Ugh I’m melting. He is a believer. He
does not have to subscribe to my same level of faith. But he knows there is a
higher power, something larger than all of us that has a hand in our lives if
we let him. I believe that something is God, that someone is Jesus. Don’t
believe honey? Let me show what God can do. I won’t preach to you or Bible thump. I won’t make you go to
church or demand you know scripture. I will show you God’s love through my
actions, my words, and my time. Then maybe you will be curious to experience
that kind of love. You will want a God fearing woman, cause know this MOST of
us (not all. There are bad apples in every bunch) MOST OF US ARE RIDE OR DIE
CHICKS. We just are.
Oh He Gets Better
So far that is strength, confident, and faith. I am also
want a hustler. I want someone who is on his grind. I don’t care if that grind
is picking up garbage. I know one thing
that better not be your holding spot. You better be striving and grinding for something better. This is what was
so alluring about City Hall. I believe that kid has big pie in the sky dreams.
He just isn’t sure if a woman can fit in the picture right now. That’s OK
honey. I’ve loved successful men. I can show you that a successful man can have
it all. He can be the C.E.O. and have the amazing hot wife ( lol that’s me
right. Just say yes.) I only want one child. So I am not asking for a wagon of
kids. All I want is you, me, our one baby, and to conquer the world.
I’m
talking to you now Mr. Wonderful. I want to sway to Sade before a board
meeting, I want a sweet text in the morning, and to hear your sexy voice at
night. I am a simple woman. I don’t need the Hilton, Trump Towers, or the Four
Seasons to feel loved. I want your time, your energy, and your heart. Is that
so much to ask for ? It doesn’t have to happen right now boo. I see you doing
your thang. I know you need to put your ex in her place, and let her know that
now you are fucking with a real woman, a woman who has boundaries and
expectations. She can’t be texting you naughty shit, or calling all times of
the night. Cause Lauren Hope, Miss Lolo is worthy of respect.
Thanks to those two
handsome guys at a Norfolk networking evnet who reminded me of that. To the Gaston who
reminded me that even HOT guys are faithful.
I do not need a perfect man. My God says no one is perfect
NO ONE. Not even Dwayne Johnson. Even though I believe he is pretty darn close.
Ha! Damn his girlfriend whose name is Lauren I might add, is a lucky woman. But
listen if I think about it my Mr. Wonderful is the Rock. He is not perfect. He
fell in love with his ex-wife in college and she supported him through
everything, his depression, his rise to WWE, and the downfall of their
marriage. The Rock to my knowledge has never publicly said why his marriage failed.
But it did. But the two of them share a great love story, and an amazing
daughter. Hi , Simone. Your dad is my hero. But you know what. Their love is so
strong, he still has his ex wife around. She is his manager, and business partner. They both have
moved on in love. Dany Johnson, Rock's wife is married to another good looking man. Her husband is no Rock but he
is fucking hot. The Rock has Lauren, and now they have a baby. They are one big
Modern Family, and I adore it. Not every person can do this. I’ve tried with my
exs and many of them can’t handle it. They either want to rekindle the love or
rekindle the mistakes I made. You know what else they show good love, true love NEVER goes away. Even if you are divorced. You know one of the secrets to the Rock's success? He surrounds himself around people who love and adore him his ex-wife, Lauren, his family members work with him. (notice I didn't say for him)
Rock and his ex-wife Dany
Dany's new husband He's no Rock but he's fine and a good man.
Rock and his Lauren He's so happy you can feel it.
.
The Rock admits he is not perfect. He went through
depression when he couldn’t play for the CFL like I did when I lost my prominent
TV job in Hampton Roads due to my crippling depression. We were both lost and unsure. I turned to writing, the
Rock turned to WWE. He had seven dollars in his pocket the night he decided to
take a leap of faith to be a wrestler. That is why his company is called Seven Bucks Productions.
I have been chained by my good girl label my whole life. It’s something people
put on me because I wanted to save myself til marriage. They told me I had to be straight laced, I couldn’t like sex, I couldn’t curse, I had to attend church
daily. This is what a good girl does, they said. FUCK NO IT’S not. A good girl is a
complex creature and she doesn’t fit in a box. That is why my company is called
Good Girl Chronicles. It is the adventures of a broken, recovered, and blessed
Good Girl. That is me. That is you ladies! I have met so many amazing women
lately and they are all good girls. Even though some of them feel broken, used,
abused, or unworthy. There GOOD GIRLS. Join my team at www.gofundme.com/teamgoodgirl
or follow the journey at Lauren Hope on Facebook or Hope_Mena84 on Twitter.
Mr. My Wonderful is like Tyrese Gibson
My Mr. Wonderful is a fine ass man like Tyrese. I mean have
you ladies heard his latest album ‘Black Rose’? The man has done some hurtful
shit, and he is ashamed. But he has a line in that song ‘Shame’ that says so
much. “If you are asking for perfection this is not going to last.” You are so
right my bald, black brother, no man is perfect and women shouldn’t expect them
to be.
Mr. Wonderful is Jim Halpert from the Office. fF you know
me, you know I am a huge Office fan. I’ve seen every episode several times.
But, one of my favorite things is watching the love story between Jim and Pam unfold over and over again.
Quick synopsis. They work together. Jim adores her Pam. Pam is engaged to a
douche. Jim waits til the right time. They kiss. It is magnetic. She freaks out
and doesn’t choose him. Jim is heartbroken and goes to another branch. He meets
and dates Karen. She is OK but she’s not his soul mate Pam. Somehow the
universe brings Jim and Pam back together( through downsizing). Funny episode.
Eventually Jim and Pam reconnect and have one of the greatest love stories on
t.v. PERIOD. Watch the episode where they get married and they are on the boat
at Niagara Falls. That is love. The Chris Brown song Forever is playing and I
almost always cry. They are happy with just each other. They don’t need a
flashy wedding, lavish gifts, or hundreds of gifts. All they need is each
other. Ugh. My love is like that song. My love is like plenty of songs.
My Mr. Wonderful Playlist
1By Your Side- Sade
2Come Away with me- Norah Jones (my wedding song
I hope)
3Loving Me 4 Me – Christina Aguleria
4Unthinkable- Alicia Keys
5I’ve Been Thinking – Jennifer Lopez
6All Tied Up – Robin Thicke (BUM how do you cheat
on Paula Patton? Idiot)
7Heartbeat- Carrie Underwood
8With You – Jessica Simpson
9Wildest Moments – Jessica Ware
1Dance Like We’re Making Love – Ciara
1XO – Beyonce ( I melt everytime I hear it)
1Adore You- Miley Cyrus (I know but it’s a great
song)
1I want to thank you – Alicia Myers (an oldie)
Good Love – Anita Baker
1Adore –Prince ( I am melting thinking about it)
1Truth is- Fantasia
1Say It – Tory Lanez (even reformed thugs need
love)
.Sucka for Love – Danity Kane
1Simple Kind of Life- No Doubt
My love is like a star – Demi Lovato ( my new
favorite singer. She has heart and she sings with conviction. )
I am melting this morning with love, and
expectation for Mr. Wonderful. I know he is out there. He may not be City Hall,
he may be. And I am joyful to wait. My tears are one of happiness, because I
know we’re going to make some beautiful love one day boo. We are. The world will
envy what we have. We will be conquerors. I will heal your heart. With God’s
help I will restore you. I will be your love doctor. I am will hold you down in
public and private. I will love you like you have never been loved. And one the
days when I can’t because of Aunt Flow or my depression I will still try. That’s
all you can ask of my love is that I try. I’ll fight for you because you fight for me.
I am your Alpha Female. ( a book my
friend wrote, long story) I will work for this love. I will pick up you when you fall. We all do.
I will love you back to life. I AM THAT I AM. I am your woman, your
friend, your shelter, your warm place. I
am your home, your provider of love. I AM THAT I AM. Trust me baby I am not perfect
but I will try everyday to love you like I want to be loved. That is all you can
ask for. I hope to see you soon Mr. Wonderful. I mean FUCK! I am 31. Everyone
says my clock is ticking. Come on dude where are you? LOL. No, seriously. Honey
I am waiting. I’ll be the one in the fitted dress, red lip, big smile, fat ass,
big boobs, and the even bigger heart. That’s me darling. I’ll be waiting.
