I gotta say even though me and Mama Lolo butt heads a lot I love that chick. I always will. Now that I am in my thirties (Geez it hurts to type that) I understand a lot of the knowledge she handed down as a kid. When she spouted off at the mouth when I was younger I laughed it off. Mama Lolo is always speaking about a wives tale or a Mississippi tale. Like if you dream of fish someone is going to have a baby. Mom what? What if I just watched 'Finding Nemo'? Or better yet don't buy a man shoes he will use them to walk all over you and then leave. Mom WTF. What if my mom loves shoes. She'd nod her head no, and give me a smirk. That is our relationship. So here are a few, and I mean a few lessons I've Mama Lolo has handed down to little Lolo. Some are down right hilarious.
1.) Mama Lolo: "Lauren, if a man is hugging you all the time, he's not being nice. He's feeling your breasts."
Me: "Mom, what? Men hug me all the time at work. They are beginning friendly."
Mama Lolo: "Lauren," she would saying eyeing my ample breasts. (I've been busty my whole life y'all) "You have to start thinking like men. When they hug you, they press against you don't they? Maybe they linger too long. Trust me they are feeling your breasts."
Me: :::::dumbfounded:::::: "Well ok Mom. I'll stop being so generous with the hugs. Geez." Big breasted women have it hard in these streets.
2. Mama Lolo :"Lauren when are you going to wear this dress?"
Lauren: "When I lose like 25 pounds."
Mama Lolo: "What if you never lose the 25 pounds?
Seriously mom talk about sabotage. I will lose the weight but not with your negative attitude. (People this was all in my head I would never speak to Mama Lolo way. I'm sure she's smack the shit out of me.)
Mama Lolo : "Lauren, look at me I have stage three breast cancer. I don't know if tomorrow is promised to me. So I tell you honey live like you won't lose the weight, live like there is no tomorrow. You never know what life will throw at you and we only get one life. Make it count baby. Make it count."
God this makes me cry. My mother beat that cancer and is still here to give me shit. Thank God so many moms don't get that chance. And, she was right that day. I try hard to do this everyday sometimes I fall short but I try. When I lost my Aunt Doris, it further let me know that you have to do it up big while you're here. You just do. Thanks Mama Lolo for fighting that cancer for us (God i can't stop crying. This is supposed to be funny) and for fighting to be with us. Thank you God for bringing that fierce woman back to us. You knew I needed her a little while longer.
3. Mama Lolo: " Some people will peak in high school Lauren. They just will. Don't worry about the fact that no one dates you, cheers for you, or wants to hang with you. This is not your time honey. BE glad you have yet to reach your peak."
I thought to myself this is bullshit. This is what moms say to kids who are unpopular. I am finding she may have been right. I still don't think I am at my peak y'all but now I'm chasing it with all my heart and soul. Joel Osteen says God will give you things you never dreamed of. I never dreamt of an office, a cute Latin boy toy, tv friends, popular young professional friends like the ones at P40, or even driving a Beetle around town, or being called sexy anything. But here I am. So yea maybe Mama Lolo is right Lauren Hope hasn't reached her peak yet.
4. Mama Lolo: "Don't worry all the big sizes go first."
WTF is this something that moms says to their fat kids. Look I was skinny for a season in my life. But in high school I was the frumpy friend. I just was. Boys dated my skinny, hot girlfriends not me. They talked to me about other hot chicks. Thats why I have so many guy friends they tell me weird shit about women. Stupid shit women do. I connect with them. But this whole business of big sizes going first in the store---I wasn't buying it. In high school I just thought I was fat and therefore being punished by the retail Gods.
Turns out Mama Lolo is right here too. I shop plus size stores and a lot of the POPULAR sizes go fast which is my size, a size 16, 14 on a good day. I read somewhere the average woman is a size 14. A size 14 and they consider that plus size. Whatever. In the past, retailers didn't buy a lot of these sizes, but the tide is changing. Stores like Torrid, The Limited, Old Navy are stepping up with cute, sexy, professional clothes for plus size women. They are the key places I shop now. They get it, and they give coupons like crazy.
5. Mama Lolo: "Love you Lauren. You are the only you, you get. At the end of the day you have to look in the mirror and be ok with the decisions you made. So love you first, and do what makes you proud no one else. And, know that God loves you no matter what."
This one took a long time to learn, and I still struggle. Sometimes I chase love in my job, in men, my friends, my accomplishments. God shows me every time that is futile. It all comes from Him. I grateful my mom knew that and worked hard to instill that in me. Even though sometimes I try to conquer the world with my own hands, I am reminded sometimes all you can do is pray. Even though I try to lose weight fast to appease other people I remember I am hungry and that is not my walk. And when I look in the mirror I remember I AM THE ONLY ME I GET--BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. And then I repeat, "You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful no matter what they say, words can't break me down. Now hold your head up, slay this makeup, and then go slay this day.
Love You, Love God More
No comments:
Post a Comment