My love affair with a man I call City Hall. An unexpected twist after a valley of depression
Love, a strong word
Love is a strong word. I dare say one of the strongest words in the english language. It is a universal word that expresses selflessness, honor, respect, longing, desire. Even my words aren’t enough to describe it fully. It has the power to change harden criminals, soften the hearts of haters, and heal deep wounds. I know this to be true. I have always loved people hard. I give the kind of love that can be intoxicating and smothering. I do not say this to be cocky but for most of my adult life I have put other people’s needs before my own; my parents, my church, my friends, marching band, News Directors (aka news bosses). I told myself in my new life post depression I would live for me. And, I choose to date a young, twenty-something year old man I call City Hall. I met him when I was trying to fill out an application for my business license. He was there working at the desk, smiling at me, and a part of me felt alive again. No man had looked at me like that in two years. And there was this twenty something kid glancing at me; a broken woman, trying desperately to keep it together, needing badly to escape the depression that almost killed her. He didn’t know it but that glance set my heart on fire. It showed me Lolo, you’ve still got it.
I proceeded to ask for his number, something I never do. Two hours later he texted me back. For two months we’ve played a cat and mouse game of texting here and texting there. I come to his city to see him, and in the only way he knows how he restores a piece of me. Our brief moments remind me that I am an amazing woman, I am worthy of good love, I am sexy, fun, and free. I am a Alpha Female like this book I read earlier this year. The book ‘Alpha Female’ is about love, sex, and relationships as it is told in the Songs of Solomon. It’s a beautiful book in the bible that no one ever taught me. No one taught me sex could be beautiful, freeing, and bonding. I was always taught it was nasty, deceitful, and wrong. City Hall has restored so much of the good about sex, love making, and connecting with someone you care about. I am not his girlfriend, but I do know that latin man cares about me as much as his heart can. And for now that’s all I need, to feel seen, heard, felt, and desired. Is that so wrong?
I could go on about the simple night we shared tonight, but I will save that for another blog. In this moment, I want to relish in all that is City Hall.
FOR THE REST OF MY NIGHT WITH CITY HALL SIGN UP FOR MY NEW BLOG AT WWW.TEAMGOODGIRL.COM IT IS NOW FREE UNTIL JUNE 17TH
I AM LAUREN HOPE AKA LOLO. My parents do not want me to tell my story of depression, love, sex, God's love and recovery. I will no longer go by Lauren Compton in reference to my business Good Girl Chronicles to protect their feelings. I love them. They are good people. But, this is my life. They do not have to agree. All I ask is for their love, and I know I already have it. Things are tense right now. They do not agree with my new life. I am tough, I curse, I go out, I have more girlfriends, I am a business owner not a reporter, I am always broke. I am dating. I have a weakness for Latin men. I give too much. I am just now speaking up for the first time in my life. All of these things scare them, and I understand. I love you all so much. It is now time for Lolo to finally spread her wings, and just live on God's love.
I believe we all have a story to tell. I am trying to be bold enough to keep telling mine. I am often scared. I often want to retreat go back to some retail job and clock in everyday. But I am happier than I have ever been. I love that people are calling me Lolo, Lauren Hope, or just plain Hope. I love that people share their stories with me, things they tell no one else. I keep them to myself. They make me feel normal. Some people allow me to write their stories on my blog, and the writer in me loves that too.
As hard as it is to start charging for content (i hated it when newspapers started doing) I have to live. These past few months have shown I have to be self sufficient. So very soon access to my exclusive stories like Lolo Parties, Jenny Blow, Jade, will be $1.99 a month. If you want to write also and contribute that is $3.99. If you have a blog I will drive traffic to your blog and encourage your writing. So many people did the for me. I also believe in Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another."
Thanks for listening- viewership on my blog, and social media platforms is WAY UP. Thanks to everyone in Team Good Girl. Your love is amazing.
Lolo Parties: Reasons to Party in Lynchburg! It’s Epic!
A night of dancing & drinking in Lynchburg, Va
In case you don’t know I used to be a television reporter. For close to 10 years I chased ambulances, crime, politicians and tragedies. I loved my life as a journalist. It was restricting however. As a twenty something woman who loved men, liked to party, and loved a good beer being a reporter was hard. A lot of television stations have morality clauses which means you have to project whatever image the stations stipulates. Usually this means women are supposed to be super conservative in their looks, personality, and sexual energy. I’ve seen a lot of reporters and public figures alike lose their reputations because they got caught being drunk in public, swapping naughty photos, public sex, or worse having an affair. That is why as a reporter I felt an intense need to keep my nose clean.
A lot of reporters will NOT party in the cities where they do the news. People lose respect for reporters who are overly sexual, or reporters who have tons of boyfriends. It’s a fact! I’ve seen it happen too many times. Viewers somehow find out, and they don’t have as much respect for reporters with messy love lives. It’s just the #factsoflife for the news reporter. So when I worked in Lynchburg I partied at a spot called Metro in Roanoke. When I worked in Portsmouth, Va well I hardly ever partied. Viewers would put you on blast anywhere. #snitches I felt I had too much to lose working at the intense station I worked for. And, honesty that goes against everything I am. I love people, I love to dance, I love to sip on a beer over a long conversation. That is why when I created Good Girl Chronicles, my story-telling business in Chesapeake, Va, I decided it was time to show the world the real me.
I am a curvy woman who loves tight fitted clothes. I love to dance with hot men. That does not mean I go home with them. And I’ve cut off just about everyone I knew from my reporter days so I don’t give two craps what they think anymore. A lot of people in television news are gossips. I mean in some form they verify gossip for a living #facts. And, honestly not a lot of them helped me when I was battling depression. I’m not salty. I’m just stating facts. They only wanted to talk to me because they thought I got fired, killed, promoted, or worse that I killed myself. I could literally show you messages from a weather guy who I dated who said, “So what am I supposed to tell people” I’m thinking to myself, “I don’t know dude. I’m telling you I tried to kill myself fives times last year do what you want with that information. I no longer care!” #crumbyman
So now I am a free bird. I am a strong, curvy, black woman who can party her ass off. And I fucking love it.
I live in Virginia Beach, Va but on holidays like most locals I do not like the Oceanfront. It is overcrowded and uncomfortable. So I came to Lynchburg AKA the Hill City for some rest and relaxation. I always hit up this restaurant called Dish because after 10 p.m. a D.J. comes and turns the party out. The cover charge is cheap, the music is lit, and for the most part the guys are hot. I met a sweet Colombian there one night. Tonight was no different
Why TONIGHT WAS EPIC
I wore a tight fitted Eva Mendes dress from New York and Company. I wasn’t sure how it would be received since my boobs weren't sitting in the dress right. Well from the reaction I got from some men and a few young ladies I think I slayed.
I was a little self conscience to dance cause it’s been so long since I danced in public. I didn’t think I had the moves, but some fun chicks got me on the dance floor. Then it was OVER. It was old Lolo grinding on hot guys, and flirting with cute boys. It felt good to be comfortable in my skin. The more comfortable I got the more people came to me. I have to remember that.
OMG- the bouncers at Dish are so cute. They have these accents, they smell good, and their suits are fly. Yea, ya girl was flirting with those ‘PYTs’ . One of them just graduated college so I can say that. And, they showed Lolo mad love last night. I told myself to stay away from PYT’s but I can’t help it. That is code for Pretty Young Things like in the Michael Jackson song.
I saw one of my exes there with a skinny chick, and I think he regretted ever screwing me over. Stupid boy!
I finished the night chatting with this grey eyed cutie at Texas Inn AKA FINE ASF. Texas Inn
is the late night eat spot in Lynchburg. They offer greasy, fried, unhealthy food and that is why people like it. They normally stay open super late but, for some reason last night they closed at 2 a.m. A lot of people were disappointed. Me and the grey cutie cut up for like an hour!
I got some new subscribers to my blog which makes me smile
THE ONLY THING MISSING FROM LAST NIGHT WAS JLO I WOULD HAVE LOST MY MIND FOR JLO BOOTY #FACTS #LOLOLOVESJLO
I went home ALONE. I love to dance, and have a good time. I also LOVE COMING HOME ALONE. I come home take off my Spanx, drink coke cola, watch ‘The Office’ then I fall asleep writing my blog. Plus, I danced so hard I’m sure I lost weight on the dance floor, my feet hurt, but my weave is in tact. No one needs to see all that. Overall I would say I had a good night. Can’t wait to come back Hill City again NEXT TIME with some fine ass honeys from Virginia Beach. When VB girls party we shut the whole place down. Trust me boo!
I’m still offering my fabulous ‘Lolo Parties' blogs for free but once my new website drops that may be only for Team Good Girl members.
Eventually I will move to a subscription based blog. It is $1.99 a month to get everything Lolo, exclusive photo shoots, new videos, funny stories about my bar confessions, and all my Good Girl ways.
Love You , Love God MoreLauren Hope
MY PHILOSOPHY --- GOOD GIRL CHRONICLES--- WE ALL HAVE A STORY TO TELL.
One of the things I love most about social media is how people are using it to promote, praise, or motivate others. We have #ManCrushMonday, #TransformationTuesday, #WomenCrushWednesday, #ThrowbackThursday, and #FlashbackFriday. My favorite days are the ones where people take the time to give love to a man or female who is hot, successful, smart, or just plain killing it in life. So this blog will jump on the bandwagon but with a Good Girl Chronicles twist.
Here is our Weekday Hashtag
-#MakeupMonday
-#WomenWhoSlayWednesday
-#ThrowbackThursdays on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
#FineFellasFriday On Wednesdays, Good Girl Chronicles will feature women who are doing positive things, in love, life, and or business. I meet so many fabulous women on a regular, and I want to share their amazing gifts with the world.
The Hot Dolls At the Skybar
I blogged a last week about my first time at the Skybar. It was so AMAZING. The atmosphere, the drinks, the hot men, the views... and some incredible women who slay. When I finally made it to the elevator that takes people up the Skybar three other girls go on. I instantly felt unpretty. It is nothing the girls did. I looked at them in their hot clothes, cool hair, and perfect makeup and I felt like I didn't measure up. I struggle with accepting my plus sized body sometimes. I think the girls could sense my discomfort, and they immediately started talking.
"Are you are here with anyone?" one of the girls asked. I nodded and told the girls my plus one was late. These amazing chicks stood with me, chatted, laughed, and kept me company till my friend got there. And these women were NOT JUST HOT they ARE SMART.
For more on the hot doll at SkyBar watch this Youtube Video
My legal name is Lauren Hope Mena Compton. I was a reporter at two stations in Virginia among other companies. I have lived with depression/anxiety since I was 16 years old. I was raised Southern Baptist. I believe in God, I love Him, and I finally believe in Him again. Since I was 30 I've been battling suicidal thoughts. These are facts! These are documented facts with several psychiatrists and mental health nurses.
Before my 30th birthday I tried to commit suicide, I was admitted to a psych center and I took FMLA leave. Before I was 30, I left my dream job because I felt like the walls were closing in. I felt like I was in a hostile environment. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown at any moment. I was scared of being branded as crazy or taken off air. THESE ARE FACTS. I have seen it happen to other people in news. THESE ARE FACTS. I have heard other journalists tell me to be quiet, that I could lose my job if I was honest about my depression and suicidal thoughts. I have been told this since I was in journalism school. You do not share your feelings, you do not cry, you suck it up and keep moving. Even though I've seen dead bodies in my profession, grieving families, and a large number of black families in crisis. It haunted me at night. I had trouble sleeping. I dreamt of death often. I have been hospitalized twice as a reporter due to my mental illness and the pressures of my job. When I started to get better as a journalist naturally the stories got harder. But I look back and I wasn't half bad at reporting. Ive been doing social media to some degree since I graduated Virginia Commonwealth University in 2007 ( ONE OF THE BEST COLLEGES FOR TV IN VA in my opinion) I could write you a novel about my bad experiences with newsrooms and my mental illness, the yelling, the time I was told I was not"mentally fit" to be on air, the time I was denied the EAP number , the times co-workers told me blankly we all said you had a nervous breakdown.
I tried to do it their way. I tried to stay quiet but it has gotten me nowhere. These people are not paying my bills now and they DO NOT CARE. The company that owns both of my prior stations have contacted me. One told me to never associate with former employees or step foot on the property. Why did then did they send security downstairs when I had been there a week prior hamming it up with the personalities ? Because I have a documented record of depression, suicide and I felt afraid at my job? IS THAT FAIR? PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE IF IT IS I WILL HAVE A SEAT. I have nothing to lose now. My family is burden by my illness. I have had to call a crisis interventionist to ease the tension in our home THESE ARE FACTS. I will be consulting a lawyer and I'm in the process of filing an EEOC complaint against both of my former stations. I pray they do not take everything I own, but I know at least one station has tried to do that others before. YOU CAN RESEARCH IT YOURSELF. IT IS IN PRINT.
The word says I am more than a conqueror I will endure this. Jeremiah 31:4 Isaish 61:3. I have no one but God to tell me I am sane, healthy and on the road to recovery. NO MAN is trying to comfort me, no boyfriend here for me, NO NEWS STATION WILL HIRE ME THESE ARE FACTS.
I CAN NOT work retail. I am overweight and my feet hurt constantly. Then I had an unfortunate incident with Onelife Fitness in Greenbrier. I will name their name because they are a corporate company, and the owner refused to give me the corporate number even after I asked. The owner said he studied social work, and is important in the community. WHY then sir did you not give me the corporate number? Why then sir did you make me go to a doctor I don't like to get you a paper you didn't need to cancel my membership because your staff was rude and inattentive? Please answer this for me.
I am not vengeful or disgruntled. When I am depressed I hurt myself not others. TRUST ME. ALL I HAVE IS MY VOICE, MY DOGS, MY GIRLFRIENDS, AND GOD. So please know I do not expect money to pour from the sky for this. But I do expect some CHANGES. I DO EXPECT SOMEONE TO MAKE IT SO NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS.
I have nothing to lose. People at two of my former stations do not call, text, or do anything. I am sure they have been told by their owning company not to consult with me. That is ok. I do not want anyone losing their job because I'm in crisis. I have unfollowed, defriened or stopped talking to people at these former stations because of their hostility or feelings about my mental illness. I wish them the best but I have to take care of me now. I need to be in a healthy place where I can focus on my faith journey and my health. I hope I can bring my dog Goliath too. He brings me comfort.
I am consulting two great non-profits in Hampton Roads who are going to help me move out of my parents house and get my life on track. And when I do I will pray, write, and work on making my business successful. I am charting my journey on Youtube so my parents can not have me admitted. Thank you.
Love You, Love God More
Lauren Hope
My business Good Girl Chronicles is a story-telling business. I believe in telling my own story I can set myself free. I also hope it will show others talking is the only way to break the stigma of mental illness. I am working to become an advocate when I am stronger. I want to champion the mental health issues in our state. They are not good. I will share more about my fight with Obamacare, how healthcare officials have yelled at me and told me to call the President for help even when I was suicidal. I will tell you why I had to pay 230 bucks in healthcare even though I only made $7,000 last year. I will tell you why I can't claim disability for my illness even though it prevents me from working in corporate America. Our system is flawed.
Follow my journey on social media
Facebook: Lauren Compton, Lauren Hope, Good Girl Chronicles
Snapchat: TeamGoodGirl84
Twitter: LaurenHope84
Instagram: HopeMena_84
Gmail: teamgoodgirl84@gmail.com
Wordpress/New Site: www.teamgoodgirl.com
Be Blessed
"Delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of you heart."- Psalms 37:4
A woman whose music gives me hope ! Demi Lovato lives with bipolar disorder. She is successful, strong, beautiful, has a good career, and a hot boyfriend. I want these things too and thats all ok. She is also an advocate for people with mental health issues. She went to the Capitol and is raw with her journey. Her CD Confident helped restore me. God speaks to me through music too.
Dwayne Johnson thank you for teaching this little Mississippi girl that even the biggest dreams are possible Love you to the moon and back.
You sent this to me when I was a reporter in Bedford County. Bruiser connected us, and I'm so thankful you read my letters and heard my cry. Know that I still believe seven dollars can help you reach the world. Keep slaying
