Before my 30th birthday I tried to commit suicide, I was admitted to a psych center and I took FMLA leave. Before I was 30, I left my dream job because I felt like the walls were closing in. I felt like I was in a hostile environment. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown at any moment. I was scared of being branded as crazy or taken off air. THESE ARE FACTS. I have seen it happen to other people in news. THESE ARE FACTS. I have heard other journalists tell me to be quiet, that I could lose my job if I was honest about my depression and suicidal thoughts. I have been told this since I was in journalism school. You do not share your feelings, you do not cry, you suck it up and keep moving. Even though I've seen dead bodies in my profession, grieving families, and a large number of black families in crisis. It haunted me at night. I had trouble sleeping. I dreamt of death often. I have been hospitalized twice as a reporter due to my mental illness and the pressures of my job. When I started to get better as a journalist naturally the stories got harder. But I look back and I wasn't half bad at reporting. Ive been doing social media to some degree since I graduated Virginia Commonwealth University in 2007 ( ONE OF THE BEST COLLEGES FOR TV IN VA in my opinion) I could write you a novel about my bad experiences with newsrooms and my mental illness, the yelling, the time I was told I was not"mentally fit" to be on air, the time I was denied the EAP number , the times co-workers told me blankly we all said you had a nervous breakdown.
I tried to do it their way. I tried to stay quiet but it has gotten me nowhere. These people are not paying my bills now and they DO NOT CARE. The company that owns both of my prior stations have contacted me. One told me to never associate with former employees or step foot on the property. Why did then did they send security downstairs when I had been there a week prior hamming it up with the personalities ? Because I have a documented record of depression, suicide and I felt afraid at my job? IS THAT FAIR? PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE IF IT IS I WILL HAVE A SEAT. I have nothing to lose now. My family is burden by my illness. I have had to call a crisis interventionist to ease the tension in our home THESE ARE FACTS. I will be consulting a lawyer and I'm in the process of filing an EEOC complaint against both of my former stations. I pray they do not take everything I own, but I know at least one station has tried to do that others before. YOU CAN RESEARCH IT YOURSELF. IT IS IN PRINT.
The word says I am more than a conqueror I will endure this. Jeremiah 31:4 Isaish 61:3. I have no one but God to tell me I am sane, healthy and on the road to recovery. NO MAN is trying to comfort me, no boyfriend here for me, NO NEWS STATION WILL HIRE ME THESE ARE FACTS.
I CAN NOT work retail. I am overweight and my feet hurt constantly. Then I had an unfortunate incident with Onelife Fitness in Greenbrier. I will name their name because they are a corporate company, and the owner refused to give me the corporate number even after I asked. The owner said he studied social work, and is important in the community. WHY then sir did you not give me the corporate number? Why then sir did you make me go to a doctor I don't like to get you a paper you didn't need to cancel my membership because your staff was rude and inattentive? Please answer this for me.
I am not vengeful or disgruntled. When I am depressed I hurt myself not others. TRUST ME. ALL I HAVE IS MY VOICE, MY DOGS, MY GIRLFRIENDS, AND GOD. So please know I do not expect money to pour from the sky for this. But I do expect some CHANGES. I DO EXPECT SOMEONE TO MAKE IT SO NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS.
I have nothing to lose. People at two of my former stations do not call, text, or do anything. I am sure they have been told by their owning company not to consult with me. That is ok. I do not want anyone losing their job because I'm in crisis. I have unfollowed, defriened or stopped talking to people at these former stations because of their hostility or feelings about my mental illness. I wish them the best but I have to take care of me now. I need to be in a healthy place where I can focus on my faith journey and my health. I hope I can bring my dog Goliath too. He brings me comfort.
I am consulting two great non-profits in Hampton Roads who are going to help me move out of my parents house and get my life on track. And when I do I will pray, write, and work on making my business successful. I am charting my journey on Youtube so my parents can not have me admitted. Thank you.
Love You, Love God More
Lauren Hope
My business Good Girl Chronicles is a story-telling business. I believe in telling my own story I can set myself free. I also hope it will show others talking is the only way to break the stigma of mental illness. I am working to become an advocate when I am stronger. I want to champion the mental health issues in our state. They are not good. I will share more about my fight with Obamacare, how healthcare officials have yelled at me and told me to call the President for help even when I was suicidal. I will tell you why I had to pay 230 bucks in healthcare even though I only made $7,000 last year. I will tell you why I can't claim disability for my illness even though it prevents me from working in corporate America. Our system is flawed.
Follow my journey on social media
Facebook: Lauren Compton, Lauren Hope, Good Girl Chronicles
Snapchat: TeamGoodGirl84
Twitter: LaurenHope84
Instagram: HopeMena_84
Gmail: teamgoodgirl84@gmail.com
Wordpress/New Site: www.teamgoodgirl.com
Be Blessed
"Delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of you heart."- Psalms 37:4
A woman whose music gives me hope ! Demi Lovato lives with bipolar disorder. She is successful, strong, beautiful, has a good career, and a hot boyfriend. I want these things too and thats all ok. She is also an advocate for people with mental health issues. She went to the Capitol and is raw with her journey. Her CD Confident helped restore me. God speaks to me through music too.
Dwayne Johnson thank you for teaching this little Mississippi girl that even the biggest dreams are possible Love you to the moon and back.
You sent this to me when I was a reporter in Bedford County. Bruiser connected us, and I'm so thankful you read my letters and heard my cry. Know that I still believe seven dollars can help you reach the world. Keep slaying
Lauren Hope
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