Wednesday, June 17, 2020
No Birthday Party for Lolo
Sunday, June 14, 2020
How A Reality TV Show Brought Back My Hope in Love
Welling up in my face. I could feel the burning of my tears wanting to burst out of my eye sockets. And, I broke. I broke into a river of tears, silent weeping. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, felt the heaving of my chest.
And, I realized I still want a profound, once in a lifetime, romantic, bended knee kind of love.
But, for some reason seeing Artem’s proposal to Nicole reached out and grabbed something deep in my soul. For years I’ve let my childhood and adult trauma make me feel that no man will ever love me completely, that marriage is a fairytale not made for women like me.
“I want to spend every sunrise and every sunset with you,” said Artem.
(You have to watch this clip)
In that moment, I felt something in my heart leap. A part of me I thought was long dead. I want to be in crazy love. I want to find the one person who wants to love all of me, the partner to venture through the valleys and peaks of life.
Don’t panic I’m not running to the dating apps Match or Bumble just yet. I realize that the best thing take time. I need time to love on myself, refocus, pursue my passion of making Good Girl Chronicles LLC my full time job, and find a way to live independently. But, I got a little bit of hope back that somewhere in the universe God has a man just for me.
Congrats on your love Nicole & Artem—thanks for restoring a little hope in me.
Sunday, May 24, 2020
The Spiritual Spring Cleaning
Spiritually, I feel a shift happening in my life. I feel this tugging on my heart. A gentle voice that says, "PURGE, PURGE." Release as much as you can. This nudging has challenged me to go through old makeup and toss it. Donate clothes I haven't worn in years, and walk back into the past.
The past is hard for a lot of people to revisit I am discovering. It sometimes holdests our darkest secrets, our traumas, and regrets. This weekend I read old love letters from exes whose heartache I thought I would never get over. I read old emails from family members I once thought I could never forgive. I cried a little, but mostly I smiled. For the first time in a long time, I savored the sweetness. While my past is filled with a lot of trauma, rejection, and abandonment. It also has great joy.
Looking at my past journalism awards reminded me I was and AM still an incredibly talented writer, and storyteller. Reading those letters from past flames reminded me I WAS and AM an amazing woman to love. Shuffling through old photographs reminded me of my evolving beauty. Organizing my CD collection reminded me how much I love music. In some way this spring cleaning has brought back some small pieces in myself. Pieces I had forgotten. Pieces I didn't know I needed.
I am certain that this spring cleaning will allow God to show up in my life and replace the things I lost in my past. This spring cleaning will allow God to fill the spaces I made room for.
They say spring is the season of rebirth, and new beginnings. If that is true, then I am making room.
Wednesday, May 20, 2020
New YouTube Interview Series: Women Who Slay
changed the entire trajectory of my life. When I think back to when everything shfit, fell apart, broke, or loss direction; I am always taken back to that moment. The tragedy of my subsquent mental health collapse was that it ended my budding career in television news. I 've done a lot to try to reinsert myself in the business: I am pursuing a Masters in Strategic Communications at Regent University. I have contacted every reporter friend or producer I know. I've applied for internships. I've asked around. Reached out to my old television agent. For some reason, none of these efforts have made real traction in me becoming a television reporter again. Spiritually, maybe this is God's way of showing me, He has something else for me. Maybe the market is bad. Maybe I am too old, and too of touch with new journalism. Whatever the case it is, it's not happening.
So I've decided to just GO ALL IN for myself, and my business Good Girl Chronicles LLC. While there is a lot of uncertainty about my future as a television journalist, one thing I am sure of is; I am incredibly talented. I have so much to give this world. I am a brillant storyteller with a keen eye for stories that connect to the heart. I find diamonds in the rough. I meet people with incredible, untapped stories, songs, messages, and efforts. Maybe God is SHIFTING me to shine a light on these people in my own way.
You know why I miss television news so much? I miss telling stories, showing the world what they need, want, or should know. Instead of hoping a HUGE corporation will take a bet on me, I'll just bet give you the stories myself.
Bare with me. Some of my video and editing skills are rusty. I will improve as I learn more. The production value will increase over time, and in the journey I think you and I will uncover some beautiful stories.
My first such story is that of Christina Kimbrough, a mental health advocate, friend, a woman choosing sobriety everyday. You may remember I profiled Christina for a blog a few months back. I had no idea Christina was struggling with alcoholism. She's over 90 days sober, and is taking people through her journey of recovery on Instagram. I did a Zoom interview with her about it.
Monday, May 18, 2020
How I Became A Storyteller: Just Call Me Oprah
bow ties, ribbons, or bows. My audience is spread out on the floor of my parent’s dining room, yet
I feel like I am speaking in my own Carnegie Hall surrounded by people who want to hear the words
that will come out of my mouth. I close my eyes and imagine those bright lights shining down on me,
the long length of the stage, and the fullness of the audience.
When I open my eyes, I’m back in my parent's house with just a few Teddy Bears as spectators.
For twenty minutes I speak to those feather filled toys like they are people. My eyes connect with theirs.
I point. I use my hands to illustrate important moments in my speech. I wish I could say I was five or
six, but I’m in my early twenties and this is how I’ve come to prepare for speeches for my Public
Speaking Class. At the local community college where I am taking classes. Public Speaking classes
are mandatory for an Associates in Psychology. I hope when I finish my associates I will transfer
to a big place like the University of Virginia and eventually become a family therapist. In high school
all my friends called me Oprah because I counseled them on all their relationship issues. I decided
this meant I would be a good therapist one day.
is indescribable. When I look back at students in class, and they applaud or cheer, or cry; I feel like for
those few moments we’ve made a connection, my story has value therefore I have value.
Does this make me a narcissist? Did I not get enough attention as a child.? I don’t know. No matter
the reason, all I know is that I love this feeling.I never thought I could make an actual career out of
public speaking. It wasn’t until after class one day that my teacher gave me a new vision for what
my life could be.
Johnson, my teacher asked me to stay after class. I thought maybe my Rock t-shirts, and props were
a bit too much and was expecting her to tell me to tone it down the next speech.
but it had never crossed my imagination ever. I thought the most air time I would get would be from
writing a book as a therapist. Maybe I would go on a book tour, and give some speeches, but being
on television every single day, out of the question.
and I think you could have a great career in news if you wanted to,” she said.
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I took her advice, and worked over 5 years in news. |
my entire life. In that moment I didn’t realize how instrumental those words would be in changing the
course of my career, so maybe that’s why I didn’t record it in my memory bank. At the time it didn’t
seem like a plausible option. I figured it was a kind thing she said to a lot of her public speaking
students and I keep on in my studies. I didn’t chuck my Psychology major right away, but as
graduation grew closer I found myself really thinking of what a life in television could mean.
I started researching what reporters actually do; interviewing, writing, meeting people. Everyday
I would learn something new, and then share it to the world. I have to admit the perceived glamour
was exciting too. The thought of me the frumpy, funny girl from the marching band being on television
was intoxicating. It would stroke my pride and show everyone back in high school that gem I knew I
was. Isn’t that what we all want from success in our twenties to show our classmates we’ve made it at
our high school reunion?
person in the world so when I thought of a college to transfer to I applied to University of Virginia for
Psychology and Virginia Commonwealth for Broadcast Journalism. Even though I made close to a
4.0 at my community college (TCC), I didn’t think I’d actually get into both schools. I figured whichever
school accepted me that was the career I was supposed to choose. I was accepted to both, but that
nudging from my speech teacher made all the difference. I decided to take a leap of faith and pursue
broadcast journalism.
and the LIFE GIVING words she spoke into my life.
kept after me about being a reporter. As a very spiritual person I think this was God's divine way of
leading me on my purpose. And, while I am not on the news today, I believe my Higher Power gave
me that experience for something even larger. I don't know what that is yet, but I'm grateful for that
teacher who stopped, noticed something amazing in me, and SPOKE IT!
LIFE into them--- who knows you might be birthing the next Oprah, or the next Lauren Hope.