My Weight Loss Mission: Acceptance

Well it is official, I am plus size. This truth was reaffirmed when I went shopping at the trendy clothes stores and I had to reach for the 1X, or the size 14. Curvy, voluptuous, thick, no matter how you spell it I’m officially a big girl. Trust me; I am trying to come to terms with that. But it is hard considering how healthy I was just years ago. In my twenties I worked hard to maintain a 130 pound frame.  I ate right, I worked out religiously, participated in races, and I even joined Weight Watchers (way before Oprah did mind you).  But, here I am 31, overweight, unsure, and trying to love the skin I’m in. I don’t say these things for pity. This is my truth. Every day I look in the mirror and I say to myself, “You are wonderfully made. You are beautiful.” It’s my little morning pep talk. I speak down deep to the little teenage girl who still remembers getting teased for developing lady lumps before the other girls. My heart aches for the even younger girl who boys did not chase and girls did not envy. Those formative years made me feel beauty was on the outside, and as a woman I’m trying to embrace the beauty  that is all of me: my smile, my laugh, my spirit, the pep in my step lately. That is not to say it isn’t hard.

Another truth of mine is this; I will lose this weight. It might take six months; it more likely will take a year. But, I am going to shed this weight. Not to attract men, trust me there are some who already want this jelly. It is not just to shimmy into all the cute clothes they make for skinny women. I am losing weight for me. My family has a history of deadly cancer. I want to decrease my odds.  I will run a half marathon even if I come in last. And, a big part of me wants to show others struggling with weight  loss that you can do this without a fad diet or a magic pill; you can do this just one day at a time. To be continued --- part two will discuss how I got all this jelly.