My rawest confession

Today I released my rawest video confession. I am have come clean about my depression, since then I have been tested at every corner. So called "friends" have back stabbed me, hurt me, slandered my name, and called me toxic. I am none of these things. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am more than a conqueror. The Bible says let the weak say I am strong.

I had to really pray and get in the word when these attacks came at me. It hurt like hell, and I contemplated going back to the passive, go along to get along woman ,who sat in her pajamas all day last year.

God says, "Lauren Hope, you are now a new creature. With that some people and relationships will fade away. Stay tall with me and I will give you the desires of your heart."

So I cried out, and I am now OK. I am moving on. I am traveling today to visit a dear friend and I can't wait to hug her. She lit a candle at her church for me every Sunday, every Sunday because she knew I was hurting. I love you girl. Prayers like that brought me through. So now I share with you my rawest video confession of the hurt I experienced these past few days, and how I am overcoming it. In 24 hours I have been judged, labeled as weak, and told to shut up. But, I also have been adorned with compliments from a new friend, comforted by my oldie but goody friends, and renewed on the road. I have also laid bare my hurt to those hurt me, and opened my heart to forgive. I have sang till my vocal cords hurt to Rihanna's 'Brand New Person' and 'Work' songs that speak to me. I have also taken a huge step -- I am in the breakup stage of forgiveness and healing.

I love you all for your support.

Riri feels my pain---


Brand New Person

I can just hear them now
"How could you let us down?"
But they don't know what I found
Or see it from this way around
Feeling it overtake
All that I used to hate
Worried 'bout every trait
I tried but it's way too late
All the signs I don't read
Two sides of me can't agree
When I breathe in too deep
Going with what I always longed for

[Chorus 1]
Feel like a brand new person
(But you make the same old mistakes)
Well, I don’t care I’m in love
(Stop before it’s too late)
Feel like a brand new person
(But you make the same old mistakes)
I finally know what it's like
(You don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s not too late)
(I know there’s too much at stake)
(Making the same mistakes)
And I still don’t know why it’s happening
(Stop while it’s not too late)
And I still don’t know

Finally taking flight
I know you don't think it's right
I know that you think it's fake
Maybe fake's what I like
Point is I have the right
Not thinking in black and white
I'm thinking it's worth the fight
Soon to be out of sight
Knowing it all this time
Going with what I always longed for

[Chorus 1]
Feel like a brand new person
(But you make the same old mistakes)
I don’t care I’m in love
(Stop before it’s too late)
Feel like a brand new person
(But you make the same old mistakes)
So how do I know that it's right?
(You don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s not too late)

[Bridge]
And I know that it's hard to digest       <----------------------------------------------- (MY SOUL BREAKS HERE)
But maybe your story ain’t so different from the rest
And I know it seems wrong to accept
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets
And I know that it's hard to digest
A realization is as good as a guess
And I know it seems wrong to accept
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets
[Chorus 2]
Feel like a brand new person <-----------------------------------(REBIRTH. God brought beauty for my ashes)
So, how will I know that it's right?
In a new direction
So, how will I know I've gone too far?
(Stop thinking you're the only option, oh)
Feel like a brand new person
(But you make the same old mistakes) <---------------------------(THE STRUGGLE of shedding the past) 
I finally know what it's like
(Stop before it's too late)
(Stop thinking you're the only option, oh)
In a new direction
(But you make the same old mistakes)
So how will I know I've gone too far?
(You don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s too late)
(Stop thinking you're the only option, oh)
Feel like a brand new person
(But you make the same old mistakes)
And I know it's hard to describe
(Stop thinking you're the only option, oh)
(But you make the same old mistakes)
(You don’t have what it takes)
(Stop before it’s too late)
I finally know what it's like
(Stop before it’s too late)
(Stop thinking you're the only option, oh)<---(There's more than me--- more than the men that left--- GOD)
(Stop thinking you're the only option, oh)