Think Cam Newtown, Reggie Bush, and Jay Manziel. These are Heisman Trophy winners. The Hesiman Memorial Trophy Award, as it is officially called, is given to the best college football player in the country every year. The website says it's not just skill that earns these men the Heisman trophy they are also award for their character. Pretty cool right? A lot of the Heisman Trophy recipients go on to have rewarding careers in football. Or fuck it up like Jay Manziel. (sorry kid! I really hope you pull it together.)
It's like the Oscars of college football ladies, except they only give out one. I could share more on what I know about the Heisman Trophy like that it was created in the 1930's or who it was named after. But for my lady readers I will move this along. Not everyone is a nerd like me and wants to know everything lol. If you are interested in learning more though click here The Heisman Trophy has an interesting history. It is also way more than a trophy they are a charitable organization. Man it's really cool what they do?
Now if you are unfamiliar this is how the Heisman Trophy looks. This is critical and important in understand how the Heisman ( a football trophy) relates to love.
You see how the player is blocking his opponent? I could go into detail why the Heisman Trophy is like this or why they chose this pose but another time. I have written about receiving the Heisman as a teenager. The story is called 'The Dreaded Friend Zone.' Click on the title to learn more about the Heisman. This is the face of rejection. When someone gives you the Heisman in love, that means you have gotten friend zoned, or flat our rejected. I've gotten the Heisman so many times I should write a book. In fact, I already have ha! I am working on getting it into the hands of a good literary agent, and editor now. But, rejection is ultimately what I a talking about when I say someone have given me the Heisman.
Now that you are up to speed we'll talk about how I tried to give City Hall the Heisman not once but several times. The first time was because he didn't text me enough. Now I am not bragging but every man I have every dated gets super clingy when we start in the beginning. They call. text. email, and stalk me on Facebook. Now I am no Beyonce. I am not sure why these men did this. Maybe I have a knack for attracting needy men, men I want to save, nurture and love back to life. Now that I am writing this--that is probably WHY. FML! Why didn't I realize that sooner? Ugh so many years wasted. Well I can't get them back so we'll move on.
Here's how City Hall responded to me urging him to call and text me more.
"Boo I am always with my daughter?"
"Really City Hall? Really? Are you with your girlfriend,"I said.
"Boo, how many times do I have to tell you I don't have a girlfriend," City Hall responded.
"Yea sure. Does your wife not let you make calls at a certain hour?" I said half way joking.
"Boo, what have I done to make you think I am lying to you? I am not always right but I won't lie to you." (I've had long time boyfriends who have never said this to me, men I wanted to marry no less.)
Damn have I become one of those cynical women who thinks the worse of men even when they are trying to show her different? Maybe I have. Now that City Hall is showing me that I am trying to change.
The next time I tried to give City Hall the Heisman, he stood me up for a date. BIG no no! I was fuming mad, and ready to be done with his ass. I had planned out exactly what I would say and how I would say it. I wanted to go all classy bitch on him. I wanted to stay polite yet slay him with my word play. Oh yea it was going to go down. I wouldn't question him or ask where he was. I was going to act like I gave two shits about why he stood me up. Side note: I know all the brothas reading this blog believe City Hall is running game. I know all my cynical sisters are telling me to run for the hills. But this is my love life damn it.
"City Hall you are an expensive dose of rejection," I texted.
"Boo, I'm so sorry my phone died, and I was at my pool league," he responded.
"Really City Hall ? Really? I'm supposed to believe that? Look boo do you. This was fun, call me when you have your shit together." Yes I actually texted this. This is Lauren Hope trying to be a gangsta. Lolo trying to be tough and not show she was super bruised by being stood up.
"Look boo, everyone is pissed at me," City Hall then proceeds to send me screen grabs of all the messages he missed. People giving him the 'f' bomb for not calling them back the prior night. Now you can say this is game. It may be. It's good game if it is. ( I am still a cynic.)
"City Hall you piss off everyone."
"I know boo. I'm sorry how can I make it up to you?" Awww I am melting.
I'll post part two of this blog at noon.
Love You, Love God More
Lauren Hope
No comments:
Post a Comment