Remember that night you touched my face, and gently kissed me?
It was so sweet.
There were so many intense kisses.
My mind was racing, heart pacing.
I knew your reputation.
They said you were a player, that I'd be a fool to be involved.
But, in that moment I thought I was different.
You were different.
Wrapped in your embrace, looking deeply at your face, I someone how thought we could be different.
Remember that drive in the car?
You seemed a little nervous.
And, I thought it was little cute.
We talked, and somehow I felt I was seeing a different side of you.
So I showed you another side of me.
I opened up about my passions, my fears, my family.
Neither of us wanted to be rebound loves.
Confiding in one another, I somehow thought this was the start of something different.
In that moment I thought I was different.
You could be different.
We would cast away the mistakes we made in past loves.
We would be friends first, and we would be honest even if it hurt.
This I thought would be different.
The few dinners we had, I didn't want to end.
The talking, the conversation, the eye gazing.
You were engaged in my every word.
When you spoke I felt you believed in me.
In all your talents, I'm not sure you really believed in you.
I could see you were unsure, self conscience, and doubtful of what you could be.
You were so much like me.
I shut the door to say goodnight, and in my heart I thought this will be different.
Who knew that night, when I shut the door, I would be shutting it for good.
Closing the door on our friendship, and a trusting part of me.
Days passed with no call, no explanation at all.
I knew then I was different, I was cushioning your fall.
You were no different than those other guys..the ones that talk sweet and then leave.
A man who held onto feelings for a past love, unable to confront them.
Used women along the wall to comfort his lonliness.
No, you were no different after all.
What fool am I to expect that your words were honest, and true.
The many days, weeks, I wasted being angry with you.
How I doubted myself, and what I could give.
All so you could feel better.
You couldn't even say it to my face, you sent a stupid letter.
No you were no different at all.
You stood there and took the words because you knew they were true.
You would run back to her, not caring who your hurt or how they fell for you.
I held onto to it.
Feel bitter, let down, considered shutting down a bit.
I could not understand, why you could not be a man.
Tell me how you felt, knowing with honesty I would understand.
You may not know this about me but I am so different.
I'm not a girl you can play with and toss out.
I won't let your weakness break me.
It all make me a little bit stronger, makes my a little bit skin thicker.
And, while you were not strong enough to stand tall.
I refuse to let your weakness make me fall.
Because now I am different.
I will keep my heart a lot closer now.
I won't be so quick to trust a smooth talker.
I know now I have to keep a close eye on who I let into my life.
And, for that I thank you.
It was a lesson learned.
Some girls would crumble, give up after being played by you.
But, I thank God I am different.
And, I refused to be broken because of you.