Subscribe to Blog

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Finding Love Online

As a woman who has found very little success dating online, you may think I’m not qualified to write a blog on the topic. Oh, on the contrary. It’s because of the disaster dates, and pitfalls I’ve experienced online that I can boldly, honestly talk about the things that turn a lot of us women off from men’s profiles online. I also have a lot of girlfriends who have ventured into online dating, and we have a few things in common. There are certain things men do online that straight turn us off.  I am revealing these turn offs in hopes the love Gods will show favor on me for helping other hopelessly romantic women.
·         No naked selfies, bicep pictures, or abdomen shots. I like a six pack just like the next Channing Tatum fan, but on an online profile it screams, sex. The guy who takes several photos of himself posing in the mirror or lifting his shirt to reveal his stomach leaves us thinking two things:  ‘Wow he’s really into himself.” Or this guy is showing his body because he wants to get laid. I mean why else would anyone put these GQ photos on a dating profile? Guys if you are looking for the kind of girl to take home to mom, introduce to your siblings, stop this. You will mostly attract superficial women or those who just want to jump in the sack. And, if that is your intention why the heck are you on a dating site? Please get out of the way so I can find my real prince charming on here.
 ·         No pictures with other chicks. I don’t care if it’s your sister, your hot looking mom, and I especially don’t care if it’s a cute girl you partied with last summer. How the heck do you expect to attract a girlfriend when we see another woman with their arms around you? I mean really. I’ve seen a lot of guys do this, and it’s not cute. I’m left wondering, ‘Who is that chick? Why is he holding her so close? Is he a partier? ‘All questions that do not bode well for a first impression. If you look nice in the picture please just crop the other chick out.

·         State Your Intentions- If your profile says you want a serious relationship expect to attract people who are looking for a serious relationship. I’ve been on a handful of dates online, and I was disappointed to find the person I was with didn’t want the same things I wanted. I felt duped. Not only it is not truthful it’s a waste of my time and yours. I know well enough now you can’t change a man to be the King you him to be so please spare me the headache and be honest on your profile.
·         Do list your interests, and likes – I can’t tell you how many ‘About Me’ sections I have failed to read. They fall into two categories : the ones where there is barely anything written, and the ones that feel like I’m reading a novel. In a short, concise way state your likes, dislikes, the kind of things you could see us doing on a first date. This is like your relationship coversheet. In order to get the interview you have to sell me on the coversheet. But, don’t overshare. Please don’t tell me about your baby mama issues or how you hate drama queens. I will learn that about you in due time, and then I can decide if it’s something I can handle.

·         Ask Me Out or Stop wasting my time – Look dude I’m paying $35 bucks a month and you are too so are we going to do this or what? On one dating site I will not name I got dozens of emails, winks, and pokes. Again I can count on one hand how many people asked me on a date. It’s very possible these men just didn’t like me. I’ll take that. But, if we’re messaging each other every other day, you’re sending the winks, and pokes my way, let’s go out already. Or at least give me the middle school cope out, ‘I like you as a friend.’ I can handle that. My advice is if you are interested ask for the date, a coffee is better than a virtual wink via some dating site.

 I would much rather meet a man the old fashion way through mutual friends or a through a chance conversation in the check-out line. Who does this actually happen to anymore?  The fact is life has gotten busy, hard, and overwhelming so I’ve resorted to online dating in hopes of finding my “one”.  I haven’t found him yet and I’ve had to kiss a few frogs but I’ve learned so much about myself and men in the journey. But while I'm looking brothas help me out, stop trying to be someone else and just be you.