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Monday, June 24, 2013

Kissing Frogs

In comparison to most women in their 20's my dating life is hardly glamorous and juicy. But here's what I do know. Mama always said, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince." But Mama left out a few details. If only it took one kiss to know the guy you were gushing over turned out to be a complete jerk. No, Mama didn't say that sometimes you'd let your heart get carried away, lose yourself in those kisses only to find a slimy toad staring back you.

At 28 I know now there will be many frogs who will jump onto my lily pad promising something very few of them can give. But, unfortunately I've had to date my fair share of frogs before I learned this lesson.

Here are some of the frogs you may encounter on your way to finding your prince. 

These are the boys who make you feel like one of those sex kitten from the movies. They'll woo you in their nice cars, overpower your senses with their cologne. They will say all the right things. The little girl in you who always wished for a prince will get swept away. He will look like an Adonis.

When you walk into a room with him you know that every woman is checking him out. You will feel powerful having him on your shoulder. He will kiss like the men on soap operas, all slow and passionate like. You feel like the damsel in this love story. This frog will undress you with his eyes, and make you feel like BeyoncĂ©. He's the one you got to have the right hair and makeup with all the time. Because for this frog it's all about appearances. But when the crap hits the fan, when life gets hard, when you aren't feeling like dressing the part, this frog just can't seem to hang around. He isn't interested in hearing about your day or your life or the real you. Oh but he's the first to come calling when there's a party, an appearance, or you're looking especially hot in the new dress you bought. This frog's greatest weakness is his inability to see the beauty of  a true princess has nothing to do with her body or her style of dress. It's in knowing and loving her heart.

Then there's the frog you date for thrills. This dude has been around the block and has seen a world you've never known. He has the exciting stories to tell. He is adventurous to hop around with him. If it's not his latest escapade or drama it's his bad boy lifestyle that makes you feel like alive. But, once it comes time to sit this frog down and talk about feelings,  you will realize that for him it's the thrill of the chase he loves. He is not a frog who stays. He is not interested in savoring the place where two people can actually fall in love.

There are the frogs who will use you. These frogs dangle a relationship in front of you like meat. You a deprived lionesses is begging for him to drop it. But it's a tease. The bait on the end of the line is a relationship, one he will never give you. He plans to keep casting, taunting, and teasing you. These frogs will tempt you with the idea of committing, but never come through. I've also kissed frogs who just don't give a shit how they treat a lady.

Kissing frogs hasn't all been in vain. I'm definitely a stronger woman for it. Because I've kissed the frogs - I know kissing the prince will be much sweeter. It's a kiss that comes with knowing the man on the other side is going to love you even after your relaxer fades, after he's seen you crying, after he's seen your goofy side. It's the prince that somehow finds you beautiful on the most mundane days. He sees you inside and out. He is a man who loves your inner passion as much as your outer beauty.

So here's a toast of sorts to the frogs of the past... the many failed kisses that helped me get to place where I can one day embrace the kisses of a prince who cares and isn't afraid to show it.