I often write about the pitfalls of love. I find some strength in looking back on past heartaches, and realizing I came out stronger, and wiser.
In my short dating life I have kissed my fair share of frogs, but I've also had some amazing princes; the kind of men you see yourself walking down the aisle with, the kind of men that give you goosebumps when they enter a room. I have been loved by a good man.
When I was 21, I met the kind of man you instantly want to take home to mom. When he walked into the room, it felt like the world stopped, and everything was in slow motion. He looked like he was ripped right out of a BET spread on 'Black Love.' I remember these light blue pants he wore that hugged his butt just right, and how his muscles bulged out of his shirt. His bald head was always smooth, and whenever I walked by him I got a little intoxicated from his Cologne. He was so sexy. I thought there was no way this GQ model would want to date me. But, he did.
On our first date, he opened the door, and called me "lady" in is this smooth, loving way. He took me to this wine festival with his friends, and it seemed he was proud to have me on his arm. I fell hard and fast. Before long, we were spending every weekend together. He wanted to hear about my dreams, my ambition, and he wanted to help me get there. He fixed every flat tire, he comforted me all the nights I cried when my mom was sick, and in the early morning with no makeup on he told me I was beautiful. I met his mother, his father, his sisters, his brothers. I let him into my home, my heart, and my head. And, I felt totally safe.
We had this thing called a "wedding kiss." One of us would say, "I want a wedding kiss." Then, we would embrace, and try with all our might to put all our passion in that kiss. I loved those kisses. I would close my eyes and imagine standing in a white dress walking towards him. But, even the everyday kisses were magical. When I graduated from college he took me to the Big Apple, and before long we were looking at rings. We were so close, but we were also so different. We lasted off and on for about four years.
When I was about 25, I fell in love with my best friend. He was the kind of man who I knew loved me for my heart, and my mind. He was the kind of man you could talk to all night, the kind of man who laughed at quirky girl jokes, the kind of man who helped me love myself. He was the kind of man who massaged my feet when I got off work.We met at work. I'm noticing a pattern here. Maybe I should stop falling in love with men I meet at work. When he walked into the room I'll admit it wasn't love at first sight. He was slightly cocky, he wore glasses, and was a bit of a video game nerd. But, he was also very sensitive, sweet, and he always made me laugh. After a while, he became my confidant, and biggest supporter at work. He pushed me to make my reporter reel, motivated me to ask for a shot at managing the station website, and believed in every pipe dream I threw at him. He could have been anywhere, but he would stay up all night watching my outtakes, and help me apply for jobs. He would always tell me, "I wish you could see what I see. You can do this." He listened to me cry when I lost my first love, aapplauded my successes, and when I felt insecure he did all he could to build me up. He was the kind of man who surprised me with flowers at work for no reason, and covered my apartment with heart-shaped post-it notes with loving compliments. He was always so passionate when he kissed me, and he looked into my eyes like he could stare into them forever. He became a part of my family, and I became a part of his. One night while we were talking on the phone, he told me that when the time was right he wanted me to be his wife. I cried in joy, and sighed in relief. I had finally met him, "The One." We were so close, but had very different takes on life. We lasted off and one for almost three years before we said goodbye.
I have known good love. And, even those these princes were only in my life for a season I'm glad I had the chance to be loved by them. And, while they didn't end up being "The One" I know they have taught how to love "The One." Through loving and losing these princes, I have learned so much about being a good partner. When I do give my heart to someone again it's going to be so much deeper, because I was once loved by a good man.
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