Just Enough

I have an over active mind. Thoughts, reminders, deadlines whizz past me so fast I can barely linger in moments for too long. While I’m applying my makeup I’m thinking about how I will look on air. I am worried about the impending bills stacking up on my kitchen table.  When I get to work I am ball of anxiety. I worry what the competition has. I wonder if they got the interview I wanted. I’m thinking so much I am forgetting to engage.

                I worry the pudge I call a stomach will never get smaller no matter how hard I diet. I worry my hair is going to mess up before my live shot. I worry my paycheck will only cover my expenses and nothing else.

                A few weeks ago my pastor from Lynchburg sent me a text message. I had it on my heart to call him, but never got around to it. Then I woke up and saw this on my phone, Matt 6:33. Nothing more nothing. It’s a scripture about giving it all to God, releasing worry.

Matthew 6:33 “Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat? or ‘What shall we drink ? or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.   I read the scripture, and I thought to myself, ‘Lord I can’t do this. I can’t make people like me. I can’t fix things at work. I can’t pay all these bills. I need you. I give it all to you.’                Since I said that prayer I’ve had more than enough. In fact I’ve had just enough to make it this past two weeks. And, I’m thinking why do I try to take on the world by myself when my Heavenly Father says He will carry my burdens?  My Heavenly Father is a provider, a healer, a comforter. Why do I worry?                This verse started to work in my life immediately. I told God I needed some motivation to get healthy again. He brought my hair stylist into my life whose all about fitness because of her wedding. When I work out with her it doesn’t feel like exercise. We talk, laugh, and before long I’ve killed a whole hour. She was the jumpstart I needed. I’ve been working out every other day, and I’ve already lost five pounds. Normally I’m an emotionally eater. But, all I have a taste for is water and fruit, healthy stuff.

                I told God I wanted to fall in love again. The very man I was trying to push away took care of me, and comforted me in ways I didn’t think were possible. I had this freak allergic reaction and my right eye was swollen shut two weeks ago. He was not the least bit grossed out. He raced to the store to get me Benadryl, and then took me to the doctor. He even made me laugh about it when I felt so ugly. He encouraged me to write, and pushed me to work harder at work. He cooks for me, and lets me be when I need to work. He has shown me so many new things these past two months. Horse racing, martini bars, filet mignon. He asks for nothing in return, just my company. I seriously think it brings him joy to make me smile. To see me get all excited over Crème Brule. I am glad that God kept Him close by.   I told God I wanted more friendships. This week people I haven’t talked to in ages have called me, texted me, and asked to share my time. I haven’t had a down or slow day all week. I had lunch, coffee with girlfriends. And, I realized I’m a good friend. All the people I had to leave behind to start this walk with Christ, it was all for this.

                I told God I need help with my finances. No one ever showed me in high school how to balance a check book or how to budget. This week God told me to sit down and spread everything out . He showed me I made more than enough to cover my bills. I didn’t see it at first. When I paid for everything; I was left will only a little bit after all the bills. Then God really showed out. When I needed gas this week I discovered I had just enough money for a full tank. When I needed lunch one day this week, my stylist offered me some filling healthy food while I was getting my hair done. I love coffee but I’m realizing my Starbucks habit is not good for my budget.  God finally showed me how to make French press coffee and I’m so in love with caffeine again. I wanted to go out and my awesome boyfriend took me to see a really silly movie. And, it was all I needed.

                My God is amazing. So if you are ever worried or wondering how you’re going to make it. Remember Matthew 6:33. It takes more than reading it though. It takes surrender,  knowing that God is in control. When you give Him the wheel the journey doesn’t seem as difficult to navigate.

I’ll end with my favorite verse one that my pastor in Lynchburg (He’s a really great guy) gave me the first time I came to his service. I live for this verse. It comforts and guides me.

Psalms 37:4 ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the Desires of you heart.