Dating Woes of a Navy Brat: The Intro

 I am surrounded. Everywhere I go, and everywhere I turn I'm confronted with tales of long-distance loves. At the gym waiting for a class to start, I hear tales of wives scouting their desired deployment locations. In the line at the grocery store, military moms discuss their husband's ranks like they're swapping Pillsbury recipes. At the Starbucks, I hear the whispers of girlfriends chatting about their sailor boyfriends, Skype dates, and impending homecomings. It's no surprise really I live in Hampton Roads one of the largest meccas for sailor sisters, military moms, army wives, and service lovers.

Every time I hear these stories I am transported back to my childhood. It's a late weekend night, and my mom has just handed me the phone. On the other end is my father, his voice sounds so close , but oceans separate us. He's on another deployment, and this is one of my mom's attempts to keep him included in our daily lives. With the receiver to my ear, I'm stumbling through an awkward mumble of what I've done at school, and how I'm trying to make new friends.

We were stationed on a Navy base in Millington, Tennessee and while it was tough I was making friends with other Navy Brats. We were like our own little cult. The senior Navy Brats held water balloon fights at their houses during the summer, the military moms hosted cookouts, and we all somehow managed until our folks returned from duty. There was even a skating ring on base we all went to on Fridays, and showed off our latest moves on our roller blades. I do have some fond memories of living on base housing. But, the worst was trying to get to know a father I didn't see often, and didn't understand.

When my dad returned from deployment it was even harder to connect with him. I didn't know how to act or what to do. Did we hug each other? Was Dad even the hugging type? Did he want to hear about my latest failed attempt to get my crushes attention or more about how I was going to pull up my C's in math? How do you bond with a parent when most of your childhood you've been apart?

These are the feelings and the memories that flash before me when I hear these women talk about their sailor loves. The tales have made me confront what I've known since childhood, I don't want to fall for a military man. I got to know my father in my mid-twenties. I love him dearly and I respect his service, and what he's done for our family. But, in my heart I don't think I am strong enough to endure what my mother endured.

My first and last military love confirmed what I already knew, I don't want to fall for a serviceman.

To be continued.