The Year of Rebuilding

I’ve been struggling with how to put into words how it feels to be rebuilt by God’s love and grace. Then it hit me while I was sitting in a Richmond Starbucks this past week. For a moment I let myself exhale, and out of my lips came, “Thank you Father. Thank you.” 

My mind reflected to the brokeness I felt at this very same moment this time last year.

I recalled all the months with no place to stay, the weeks of feeling abandoned, the days and minutes of feeling I could never be made whole. Sitting there in that coffee shop with a place to return home to, a job I take pride in, and a hope for the future I never thought possible, the beauty of God’s grace washed over me. The feeling was so strong I broke down in tears just thanking God for His provision.

There were so many times I did not feel I deserved love from anyone. I felt because of my mistakes, missteps with love and sex, the shame I’ve brought my family, the dreams I let fall to waste side that I deserved my hard life.  Thankfully during the hardest moments of last year I’ve grew closer to my heaven Father by reading His word, and singing His praises. I feel transformed and rebuilt by His love. 

I am forever changed because of God’s love, and the sacrifice Jesus made that allows me to live a redeemed life.

It's like the scripture Jeremiah 31:4 that reads like this, “I will rebuild you, and you will dance again.” 

In the book of Jeremiah,God’s people have disobeyed Him. He voices his displeasure in the book, and lays out the punishment for their disobedience. But, Jeremiah 31:4 proves that no matter how far we stray from God’s obedience He gives us another chance to be rebuilt in His image and experience joy or dancing as it says in this scripture.

These past few months I can see how God has picked up the broken pieces of my life and rebuilt them into something new. He picked up the pieces of homelessness and turned into a new secure home of my own. He picked up the pieces of unemployment and

Me and one of my best friends Miss Sunshine

provided me with a job that allows me to help people. He picked up the pieces of my loneliness and blessed me with friends who have loved me in my valley. Now I am surrendering my shame, my guilt, and my own personal disappointment at the altar for Him to renew also. With every broken piece that God replaces in me I am being set free.What’s even more exciting is that I know this is only the beginning. I have not even began to dance as it says in the book of Jeremiah, and when I do it is going to glorify God is a major way.

Thank you Father for leaving the flock for this one sheep. Thank you for making me new.

February 18th I will be baptized again, a public display of an internal work in me. It is a re-dedication to you, a new beginning, a declaration of where my heart and soul stands. I am finally ready.