How A Reality TV Show Brought Back My Hope in Love

Welling up in my face. I could feel the burning of my tears wanting to burst out of my eye sockets. And, I broke. I broke into a river of tears, silent weeping. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, felt the heaving of my chest.

 

And, I realized I still want a profound, once in a lifetime, romantic, bended knee kind of love.

I’ve been watching the whirlwind relationships with Nikki Bella of the Bella Twins, and Artem Chigvintsec of Dancing with the Stars fame.

Last night, I watched Artem’s proposal to Nikki Bella after her birthday dinner in France. If you have not followed Nikki Bella’s journey to finding the one, then you may not understand why it struck me so hard. Nikki was once engaged to wrestling celebrity John Cena. Her relationship with Cena was chronicled on several E reality shows. It ultimately ended when it became apparent that she and Cena did not want the same things. Nicole wanted to be a mother, and wife; something that Cena was having a hard time compromising with. This is skimming the surface.

 

But, for some reason seeing Artem’s proposal to Nicole reached out and grabbed something deep in my soul. For years I’ve let my childhood and adult trauma make me feel that no man will ever love me completely, that marriage is a fairytale not made for women like me.

 

“I want to spend every sunrise and every sunset with you,” said Artem. 

(You have to watch this clip)

 

In that moment, I felt something in my heart leap. A part of me I thought was long dead. I want to be in crazy love. I want to find the one person who wants to love all of me, the partner to venture through the valleys and peaks of life.

 

Don’t panic I’m not running to the dating apps Match or Bumble just yet. I realize that the best thing take time. I need time to love on myself, refocus, pursue my passion of making Good Girl Chronicles LLC my full time job, and find a way to live independently. But, I got a little bit of hope back that somewhere in the universe God has a man just for me.

 

Congrats on your love Nicole & Artem—thanks for restoring a little hope in me.