A Good Girl #THROWBACK "Is The Good Girl Dead?"

Is The Good Girl Dead? Will All My Good Girls Stand-up

The Good Girl Chronicles

The ‘Good Girl’ is very much dead and we’re still trying to find her murderer. Television reporters say it was slow death. While it certainly didn’t begin with celebrities like Britney Spears, we’re definitely a long way from good girl images from Full House or Laura Winslow from Family Matters. These days our young girls and daughters follow in the foot steps of semi-adult stars like Miley Cyrus. A star known for dating a 20 year old, posing partially naked for a Vogue cover, and calling it  apart of growing up.

The original good girl is a girl with wholesome values and innocent beauty. A girl who knows beauty comes from the inside. She’s the girl men settle down with after playing their way through the dating field.  She’s the girl who knows her heart and isn’t afraid to follow it. But sadly, her image has been slashed several times in movies and sitcoms as an uptight, inexperienced virgin, who passes judgment on those who lack her moral fiber. The images of the good girl are fading and are being replaced with the all elusive, seemingly powerful bad girl.

In our reality TV, push-the-limits culture, we’ve become too familiar with the bad girl prototype. The idea of a free, unbridled, no holds barred woman firm in her sexuality and wild in her pursuit of it. She is a little jaded, bored of the rigid gender roles society has placed on her. Somehow that image has become powerful.  For instance when Britney Spears discovered “I’m not yet a girl, Not Yet a Woman”, meant stripped down to bare nothing and Las Vegas runaway weddings, we all said she was becoming a woman, evolving…. Her “In The Zone” album was full of sex laced tracks, touch myself lyrics, and the power and pleasure of a innocent “good girl” turned bad.

As if there was something tired and faded about being a good girl and being a real woman meant getting dirty. Is that what being a woman means? Is this what we want our little girls to aspire to? And somehow we’ve come believe that there is no real good girl. We’ve learned to expect the “bad girl” transformation. Learning that sweet-faced Jamie Lynn Spears (sister of Britney Spears, coincidence????)  was now pregnant and therefore undeserving of her highly popular teen show “Zoey 101”, or that fifteen-year old Miley Cyrus thought posing naked was artistic, was not really that surprising...... We’ve come to expect these thing.. But these are imperfect examples. Celebrities….  They couldn’t possibly live normal lives if they wanted.  These people make 10 million dollars a movie and have handlers controlling their life… that’s not real life. But we definitely take a lot of our social norms and roles from the lives of celebrities. They are often a reflection of our culture. Good girl and bad.

While I understand both labels good girl and bad girl are just that labels. I’m ready for a reemergence of the good girl. I think it’s time when we can appreciate her again. Bring new life to this slain star. A girl not sexualized before her time, teaching our young girls how to be ladies. Let’s bring back the girl who understands that true beauty starts on the inside. It doesn’t mean dieting at 12 to look like their favorites stars. It’s not sexting your boyfriend naked photos like Vanessa Hugdens. Let’s tell the toymakers we don’t want a “Sexy Dora”. The makers of Dora plan to repackage our fun loving Spanish speaking toddler with longer hair, painted nails, and a more slender body. I happen to love the Dora’s bob and small pop belly, because she’s not teaching my little girl how to dress or attract a boy she’s teaching language skills.

Let’s get back to building self esteem. No matter what our favorite teen boppers say about eating burgers and French fries and managing to keep a size 2 figure, we all know they don’t live under normal circumstances. So let’s teach our girls about healthy body image and good eating. These little girls are our future. And while a stylish First Lady is nice, we all know Michelle Obama is more powerful, because her incredible intellect and passion. 

As a former Big Sister mentor I know our little girls are hungry for role models. And while the Mileys, Vanessas, and Britneys are cool let’s start personally giving our little girls a wider range of roles to aspire to. It starts with us; the big sisters, the moms, the godmothers, any woman who has the ability to influence a little girl.