Is Lolo a little in love? or a lot in like?

Lolo is a little in love

   My love affair with a man I call City Hall. An unexpected twist after a valley of depression 

Love, a strong word

Love is a strong word. I dare say one of the strongest words in the english language. It is a universal word that expresses selflessness, honor, respect, longing, desire. Even my words aren’t enough to describe it fully. It has the power to change harden criminals, soften the hearts of haters, and heal deep wounds. I know this to be true. I have always loved people hard. I give the kind of love that can be intoxicating and smothering. I do not say this to be cocky but for most of my adult life I have put other people’s needs before my own; my parents, my church, my friends, marching band, News Directors (aka news bosses). I told myself in my new life post depression I would live for me. And, I choose to date a young, twenty-something year old man I call City Hall. I met him when I was trying to fill out an application for my business license. He was there working at the desk, smiling at me, and a part of me felt alive again. No man had looked at me like that in two years. And there was this twenty something kid glancing at me; a broken woman, trying desperately to keep it together, needing badly to escape the depression that almost killed her. He didn’t know it but that glance set my heart on fire. It showed me Lolo, you’ve still got it. 

I proceeded to ask for his number, something I never do. Two hours later he texted me back. For two months we’ve played a cat and mouse game of texting here and texting there. I come to his city to see him, and in the only way he knows how he restores a piece of me. Our brief moments remind me that I am an amazing woman, I am worthy of good love, I am sexy, fun, and free. I am a Alpha Female like this book I read earlier this year. The book ‘Alpha Female’ is about love, sex, and relationships as it is told in the Songs of Solomon. It’s a beautiful book in the bible that no one ever taught me. No one taught me sex could be beautiful, freeing, and bonding. I was always taught it was nasty, deceitful, and wrong. City Hall has restored so much of the good about sex, love making, and connecting with someone you care about. I am not his girlfriend, but I do know that latin man cares about me as much as his heart can. And for now that’s all I need, to feel seen, heard, felt, and desired. Is that so wrong? 

I could go on about the simple night we shared tonight, but I will save that for another blog. In this moment, I want to relish in all that is City Hall.

 FOR THE REST OF MY NIGHT WITH CITY HALL SIGN UP FOR MY NEW BLOG AT WWW.TEAMGOODGIRL.COM IT IS NOW FREE UNTIL JUNE 17TH

Lolo is a Conqueror: Believing in Isaiah 61: 3

I AM LAUREN HOPE AKA LOLO. My parents do not want me to tell my story of depression, love, sex, God's love and recovery. I will no longer go by Lauren Compton in reference to my business Good Girl Chronicles to protect their feelings. I love them. They are good people. But, this is my life. They do not have to agree. All I ask is for their love, and I know I already have it. Things are tense right now. They do not agree with my new life. I am tough, I curse, I go out, I have more girlfriends, I am a business owner not a reporter, I am always broke. I am dating. I have a weakness for Latin men. I give too much. I am just now speaking up for the first time in my life. All of these things scare them, and I understand. I love you all so much. It is now time for Lolo to finally spread her wings, and just live on God's love. 

I believe we all have a story to tell. I am trying to be bold enough to keep telling mine. I am often scared. I often want to retreat go back to some retail job and clock in everyday. But I am happier than I have ever been. I love that people are calling me Lolo, Lauren Hope, or just plain Hope.  I love that people share their stories with me, things they tell no one else. I keep them to myself. They make me feel normal. Some people allow me to write their stories on my blog, and the writer in me loves that too. 

As hard as it is to start charging for content (i hated it when newspapers started doing) I have to live. These past few months have shown I have to be self sufficient. So very soon access to my exclusive stories like Lolo Parties, Jenny Blow, Jade, will be $1.99 a month. If you want to write also and contribute that is $3.99. If you have a blog I will drive traffic to your blog and encourage your writing. So many people did the for me. I also believe in Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another."

Thanks for listening- viewership on my blog, and social media platforms is WAY UP. Thanks to everyone in Team Good Girl. Your love is amazing.

I AM THAT I AM - THIS IS MY LIFE

YOU DON'T OWN ME

Love You, Love God More

Lauren Hope

PSALMS 37:4

LOLO Parties: Reasons to Party in Lynchburg

Lolo Parties: Reasons to Party in Lynchburg! It’s Epic!

A night of dancing & drinking in Lynchburg, Va

 In case you don’t know I used to be a television reporter. For close to 10 years I chased ambulances, crime, politicians and tragedies. I loved my life as a journalist. It was restricting however. As a twenty something woman who loved men, liked to party, and loved a good beer being a reporter was hard. A lot of television stations have morality clauses which means you have to project whatever image the stations stipulates. Usually this means women are supposed to be super conservative in their looks, personality, and sexual energy. I’ve seen a lot of reporters and public figures alike lose their reputations because they got caught being drunk in public, swapping naughty photos, public sex, or worse having an affair. That is why as a reporter I felt an intense need to keep my nose clean.

A lot of reporters will NOT party in the cities where they do the news. People lose respect for reporters who are overly sexual, or reporters who have tons of boyfriends. It’s a fact! I’ve seen it happen too many times. Viewers somehow find out, and they don’t have as much respect for reporters with messy love lives. It’s just the #factsoflife for the news reporter. So when I worked in Lynchburg I partied at a spot called Metro in Roanoke. When I worked in Portsmouth, Va well I hardly ever partied. Viewers would put you on blast anywhere. #snitches I felt I had too much to lose working at the intense station I worked for. And, honesty that goes against everything I am. I love people, I love to dance, I love to sip on a beer over a long conversation. That is why when I created Good Girl Chronicles, my story-telling business in Chesapeake, Va, I decided it was time to show the world the real me.

I am a curvy woman who loves tight fitted clothes. I love to dance with hot men. That does not mean I go home with them. And I’ve cut off just about everyone I knew from my reporter days so I don’t give two craps what they think anymore. A lot of people in television news are gossips. I mean in some form they verify gossip for a living #facts. And, honestly not a lot of them helped me when I was battling depression. I’m not salty. I’m just stating facts. They only wanted to talk to me because they thought I got fired, killed, promoted, or worse that I killed myself. I could literally show you messages from a weather guy who I dated who said, “So what am I supposed to tell people” I’m thinking to myself, “I don’t know dude. I’m telling you I tried to kill myself fives times last year do what you want with that information. I no longer care!” #crumbyman 

 So now I am a free bird. I am a strong, curvy, black woman who can party her ass off. And I fucking love it.

I live in Virginia Beach, Va but on holidays like most locals I do not like the Oceanfront. It is overcrowded and uncomfortable. So I came to Lynchburg AKA the Hill City for some rest and relaxation. I always hit up this restaurant called Dish because after 10 p.m. a D.J. comes and turns the party out. The cover charge is cheap, the music is lit, and for the most part the guys are hot. I met a sweet Colombian there one night. Tonight was no different

Why TONIGHT WAS EPIC

• I wore a tight fitted Eva Mendes dress from  New York and Company. I wasn’t sure how it would be received since my boobs weren't sitting in the dress right. Well from the reaction I got from some men and a few young ladies I think I slayed.
  

• I was a little self conscience to dance cause it’s been so long since I danced in public. I didn’t think I had the moves, but some fun chicks got me on the dance floor. Then it was OVER. It was old Lolo grinding on hot guys, and flirting with cute boys. It felt good to be comfortable in my skin. The more comfortable I got the more people came to me. I have to remember that.

• OMG- the bouncers at Dish are so cute. They have these accents, they smell good, and their suits are fly. Yea, ya girl was flirting with those ‘PYTs’ . One of them just graduated college so I can say that. And, they showed Lolo mad love last night. I told myself to stay away from PYT’s but I can’t help it. That is code  for Pretty Young Things like in the Michael Jackson song.

• I saw one of my exes there with a skinny chick, and I think he regretted ever screwing me over. Stupid boy!

• I finished the night chatting with this grey eyed cutie at Texas Inn  AKA FINE ASF. Texas Inn
  
  is the late night eat spot in Lynchburg. They offer greasy, fried, unhealthy food and that is why people like it. They normally stay open super late but, for some reason last night they closed at 2 a.m. A lot of people were disappointed. Me and the grey cutie cut up for like an hour! 

• I got some new subscribers to my blog which makes me smile

• THE ONLY THING MISSING FROM LAST NIGHT WAS JLO I WOULD HAVE LOST MY MIND FOR JLO BOOTY #FACTS #LOLOLOVESJLO
• I went home ALONE. I love to dance, and have a good time. I also LOVE COMING HOME ALONE. I come home take off my Spanx, drink coke cola, watch ‘The Office’ then I fall asleep writing my blog.  Plus, I danced so hard I’m sure I lost weight on the dance floor, my feet hurt, but my weave is in tact. No one needs to see all that. Overall I would say I had a good night. Can’t wait to come back Hill City again NEXT TIME with some fine ass honeys from Virginia Beach. When VB girls party we shut the whole place down. Trust me boo!
• 
  

I’m still offering my fabulous ‘Lolo Parties' blogs for free but once my new website drops that may be only for Team Good Girl members. 

Eventually I will move to a subscription based blog. It is $1.99 a month to get everything Lolo, exclusive photo shoots, new videos, funny stories about my bar confessions, and all my Good Girl ways.

Love You , Love God MoreLauren Hope

MY PHILOSOPHY --- GOOD GIRL CHRONICLES--- WE ALL HAVE A STORY TO TELL.

Good Girl Chronicles: REVISED #WomenWhoSlayWednesday

One of the things I love most about social media is how people are using it to promote, praise, or motivate others. We have #ManCrushMonday, #TransformationTuesday, #WomenCrushWednesday, #ThrowbackThursday, and #FlashbackFriday. My favorite days are the ones where people take the time to give love to a man or female who is hot, successful, smart, or just plain killing it in life. So this blog will jump on the bandwagon but with a Good Girl Chronicles twist.

Here is our Weekday Hashtag
-#MakeupMonday
-#WomenWhoSlayWednesday
-#ThrowbackThursdays on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
#FineFellasFriday

On Wednesdays, Good Girl Chronicles will feature women who are doing positive things, in love, life, and or business. I meet so many fabulous women on a regular, and I want to share their amazing gifts with the world.

The Hot Dolls At the Skybar
I blogged a last week about my first time at the Skybar. It was so AMAZING. The atmosphere, the drinks, the hot men, the views... and some incredible women who slay. When I finally made it to the elevator that takes people up the Skybar three other girls go on. I instantly felt unpretty. It is nothing the girls did. I looked at them in their hot clothes, cool hair, and perfect makeup and I felt like I didn't measure up. I struggle with accepting my plus sized body sometimes.  I think the girls could sense my discomfort, and they immediately started talking.

"Are you are here with anyone?" one of the girls asked. I nodded and told the girls my plus one was late. These amazing chicks stood with me, chatted, laughed, and kept me company till my friend got there. And these women were NOT JUST HOT they ARE SMART.

For more on the hot doll at SkyBar watch this Youtube Video

Good Girl Chronicles: A Tough Day, My Journey to Getting My Life Back

My legal name is Lauren Hope Mena Compton. I was a reporter at two stations in Virginia among other companies. I have lived with depression/anxiety since I was 16 years old. I was raised Southern Baptist. I believe in God, I love Him, and I finally believe in Him again. Since I was 30 I've been battling suicidal thoughts. These are facts! These are documented facts with several psychiatrists and mental health nurses.

Before my 30th birthday I tried to commit suicide, I was admitted to a psych center and I took FMLA leave. Before I was 30, I left my dream job because I felt like the walls were closing in. I felt like I was in a hostile environment. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown at any moment. I was scared of being branded as crazy or taken off air. THESE ARE FACTS. I have seen it happen to other people in news. THESE ARE FACTS. I have heard other journalists tell me to be quiet, that I could lose my job if I was honest about my depression and suicidal thoughts. I have been told this since I was in journalism school. You do not share your feelings, you do not cry, you suck it up and keep moving. Even though I've seen dead bodies in my profession, grieving families, and a large number of black families in crisis. It haunted me at night. I had trouble sleeping. I dreamt of death often. I have been hospitalized twice as a reporter due to my mental illness and the pressures of my job. When I started to get better as a journalist naturally the stories got harder. But I look back and I wasn't half bad at reporting. Ive been doing social media to some degree since I graduated Virginia Commonwealth University in 2007 ( ONE OF THE BEST COLLEGES FOR TV IN VA in my opinion) I could write you a novel about my bad experiences with newsrooms and my mental illness, the yelling, the time I was told I was not"mentally fit" to be on air, the time I was denied the EAP number , the times co-workers told me blankly we all said you had a nervous breakdown.

I tried to do it their way. I tried to stay quiet but it has gotten me nowhere. These people are not paying my bills now and they DO NOT CARE. The company that owns both of my prior stations have contacted me. One told me to never associate with former employees or step foot on the property. Why did then did they send security downstairs when I had been there a week prior hamming it up with the personalities ? Because I have a documented record of depression, suicide and I felt afraid at my job? IS THAT FAIR? PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE IF IT IS I WILL HAVE A SEAT. I have nothing to lose now. My family is burden by my illness. I have had to call a crisis interventionist to ease the tension in our home THESE ARE FACTS. I will be consulting a lawyer and I'm in the process of filing an EEOC complaint against both of my former stations. I pray they do not take everything I own, but I know at least one station has tried to do that others before. YOU CAN RESEARCH IT YOURSELF. IT IS IN PRINT.

 The word says I am more than a conqueror I will endure this. Jeremiah 31:4 Isaish 61:3. I have no one but God to tell me I am sane, healthy and on the road to recovery. NO MAN is trying to comfort me, no boyfriend here for me, NO NEWS STATION WILL HIRE ME THESE ARE FACTS.

I CAN NOT work retail. I am overweight and my feet hurt constantly. Then I had an unfortunate incident with Onelife Fitness in Greenbrier. I will name their name because they are a corporate company, and the owner refused to give me the corporate number even after I asked. The owner said he studied social work, and is important in the community. WHY then sir did you not give me the corporate number? Why then sir did you make me go to a doctor I don't like to get you a paper you didn't need to cancel my membership because your staff was rude and inattentive? Please answer this for me.

I am not vengeful or disgruntled. When I am depressed I hurt myself not others. TRUST ME. ALL I HAVE IS MY VOICE,  MY DOGS, MY GIRLFRIENDS, AND GOD. So please know I do not expect money to pour from the sky for this. But I do expect some CHANGES. I DO EXPECT SOMEONE TO MAKE IT SO NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS.

I have nothing to lose. People at two of my former stations do not call, text, or do anything. I am sure they have been told by their owning company not to consult with me. That is ok. I do not want anyone losing their job because I'm in crisis. I have unfollowed, defriened or stopped talking to people at these former stations because of their hostility or feelings about my mental illness. I wish them the best but I have to take care of me now. I need to be in a healthy place where I can focus on my faith journey and my health. I hope I can bring my dog Goliath too. He brings me comfort.

I am consulting two great non-profits in Hampton Roads who are going to help me move out of my parents house and get my life on track. And when I do I will pray, write, and work on making my business successful. I am charting my journey on Youtube so my parents can not have me admitted. Thank you.

Love You, Love God More
Lauren Hope

My business Good Girl Chronicles is a story-telling business. I believe in telling my own story I can set myself free. I also hope it will show others talking is the only way to break the stigma of mental illness. I am working to become an advocate when I am stronger. I want to champion the mental health issues in our state. They are not good. I will share more about my fight with Obamacare, how healthcare officials have yelled at me and told me to call the President for help even when I was suicidal. I will tell you why I had to pay 230 bucks in healthcare even though I only made $7,000 last year. I will tell you why I can't claim disability for my illness even though it prevents me from working in corporate America. Our system is flawed.

Follow my journey on social media

Facebook: Lauren Compton, Lauren Hope, Good Girl Chronicles

Snapchat: TeamGoodGirl84

Twitter: LaurenHope84

Instagram: HopeMena_84

Gmail: teamgoodgirl84@gmail.com

Wordpress/New Site: www.teamgoodgirl.com

Be Blessed

"Delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of you heart."- Psalms 37:4

A woman whose music gives me hope ! Demi Lovato lives with bipolar disorder. She is successful, strong, beautiful, has a good career, and a hot boyfriend. I want these things too and thats all ok. She is also an advocate for people with mental health issues. She went to the Capitol and is raw with her journey. Her CD Confident helped restore me. God speaks to me through music too.

 Dwayne Johnson thank you for teaching this little Mississippi girl that even the biggest dreams are possible Love you to the moon and back.

You sent this to me when I was a reporter in Bedford County. Bruiser connected us, and I'm so thankful you read my letters and heard my cry. Know that I still believe seven dollars can help you reach the world. Keep slaying

Lauren Hope

Lolo's Bar Confessions: It's About Being Real, Bebe Dresses, & Confidence

OMG I finally got an invite to this amazing place called the 'Sky Bar' in Virginia Beach. Click  'Sky Bar' to check it out. It is nothing short of gorgeous. Am I saying that right? I want to say it's fucking amazing. I felt like a black Carrie Bradshaw going to a club opening at the Oceanfront. The only problem is I'm years too late. The Sky Bar has been open in Virginia Beach for a hot minute (aka a long ass time).

Reasons I Never Went To the Skybar 
 A.) I didn't think I could afford it. Honestly for $200 a season it's not bad. I want to add I am not being paid by Sky Bar (although that would be nice) to write this blog. But, I've dropped 200 bucks in one weekend partying in Richmond and in downtown Norfolk. Honestly, it's a good investment. I was able to chat about my blog, flirt with some hot guys, and wear my new Bebe dress.

B.) I thought it was too swanky got me. Look I really am a simple girl. I do love tight fitted clothes, name brand designs, good food, a handsome man, and fun girlfriends. But I am also a Tomboy at heart. A woman who likes wearing jeans and a graphic t-shirt most days. So when I heard people talk about the Sky Bar I always thought it was for skinny, hot chicks with rich boyfriends. Don't get me wrong I am sure a lot of the fellas I saw in there had money, no one was bragging about it. A lot of the women were skinny, but a lot of them complimented me, a curvy, some would say fat, fabulous woman, straight slaying in my Bebe dress. (By the way Bebe is not paying me either but I heavily support their Outlet store in Williamsburg Virginia. The associates are amazing, and they helped me believe a plus size woman could feel sexy in Bebe. That is the power of good customer service.) Back to the story--- They say never judge a book by it's cover. Well I say don't always believe what your friends say. I once knew a guy who had a membership who made me feel like only celebrities went to the Sky Bar. Nope! A regular, plain jane like me went and had the best night I've had all month.

Well I can't really think of a C.) Those are the two big reasons I didn't go to the Sky Bar. It sas nothing like I imagined at all. It was chic, glamorous, but also so chill. Not sure how they maintain that balance but keep doing what you do Sky Bar. I felt fabulous and so did my girlfriend who came with me. We were invited  by the DJ, whom I used to work with at a local television station.

ME and Brandon (BTW he's so handsome and humble)

The fabulous chicks I met there

Fabulous Highlights

• Met some adorable, cute, hot, successful educated dolls there. You helped me remember that real woman praise each  other. We don't have tear each other down to feel good about ourselves. They were so kind, and I think they could tell I was self conscience. When I took off my jacket to expose my dress, they cheered for me. That felt good. #womenwhoslay
• Danced with white guys- typically white men I've met do not have rhythm, but these cats could actually dance.
• Drank an amazing sweet drink that was NOT too watery or too strong.
• Reunited with my friend Brandon who is such a cutie and so humble. One of my favorite combinations
• I connected with my DJ friend and he was super cool
• My girlfriend and I both got to feel so fucking fabulous. We are both small business owners and we've been hustling hard lately. It felt good to just be two girls chatting in the bar.
• 
  

For everything else I missed watch this cute Youtube video with my adorable dog Goliath. (He was hangry so please excuse his rudeness)

Love You, Love God More

Lauren Hope AKA Lolo

Owner, Creator of Good Girl Chronicles, a business in Chesapeake, VA dedicated to story-telling.

Psalms 37:4 "Delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

A Love That Almost Broke Me:This is the Real Me

Part two of the love letter to the  man who wasted too much of my time. Part two of the love letter to the man who broke vows, smashed dreams, and broke hearts. Part two of the letter to the new me, a real woman, a conqueror, a woman who deserves real love. I am breaking free of you, and hoping my heart heals enough to know a Corinthians type of love. I hope am strong enough to let you go to be a Corinthians lover, a friend, a comforter, a person who holds no record of wrong doings....... I am not there yet but I am trying......

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Lyric, you don’t get to say you didn’t love me. Why then did you call me repeatedly when I was in my valley of depression? Why were you worried when I had to go to the psych ward and then jokingly asked , “Are you bat shit crazy now?” Why did it hurt you when I couldn’t answer the phone? Why did it cut you deep when I turned to my ex Javi for comfort and not you? Why? Because that is real love. You did love me Lyric whether you want to admit it or not. You took a bold leap to call my own  mother to jolt some sense into me. It was the December God picked me up. It was then that I knew I had to come back to you. It was this December you forgave me, and said you wanted to move on. So no sir, you don’t get to say you didn’t love me. We knew real love. Whether you are man enough to claim it.

How I looked when you met me. 125 and slaying

So I will never defriend, never shut you out, ever! I want you to see me in all my glory. I want you to see a stronger, smarter, wiser, sexier, more confident woman. I want you miss what we had. I want you to know you fucked up when you lost Lauren Hope. You lost major when you let Lolo go. I could write a novel, cry tears to fill an ocean in attempt to tell you how much I loved you. I say that in the present because I do love you. I struggle with whether I am still in love with you.

 I call you, you don’t answer. I text you, no reply. I am reaching out to you and you have turned away. I hope it is because you have a found a new love, a new life, a new dream. I hope it is because you have shed the guilt of your past mistakes. I hope it is because you let that skinny adulteress bitch go. I hope it is because you know joy, love, happiness, the kind that God gives all His children that love him. I hope the best for you.

In my new life, I have met amazing men, men who have wined me, dined me, showed me things I didn’t know. A hot Colombian who kissed me so softly that the music stopped in a loud club. I dated a man with five degrees, a nice house, and a hot car. He looked at me like he wanted to devour me, worshiped the ground I walked on, and after moments of knowing me wanted to do all he could to make Lauren Hope marketable again. I have kissed and played with a few pretty, young things. They think I am exotic, a sweet good girl with a naughty side. They like that I laugh, and smile wide. They love the new shape of my body, and strut in my step. It turns them on just to be near me, or try to keep up with my pep. I am a phenomenal woman, phenomenally, yea, that's me.  

Me now, Size 16 and slaying so hard it hurts #fat&fabulous

My wholesome attitude and good ways tempt thuggish man. One night he shared his heart with me, and I told him, “I understand.” Together we shared one of the most intimate nights I could ever imagine. We talked about love, God, children, dreams, desires, not wanting to live, depression, and the beauty of recovery, the beauty of starting over. He was my love doctor and he never touched me. He told me to stand tall again to forget you and move on. He said you were no good and did not know the real me. I cried with him on the phone, I laid my soul bare, and the next day I arose a woman who didn’t care. A woman who no longer cared if you ever saw me for me, a woman who didn’t care if you ever came back, a woman who began to see you never deserved her anyway…..

 Then I met a hot Latin man in Richmond City Hall. He smiled at me, I smiled at him, and in that moment I felt seen again. I was bold, and fearless. I asked for his number. Two hours later he replied, “It’s me the cute guy…” I called him City Hall, it was our little secret, to cover the fire between us.  What followed were four weeks of cute texts, sweet dates, and passionate kisses. He reminded me that I was worthy of being someone’s missus. We both were bitter and heartbroken by people like you… too afraid to get emotionally close to someone new. I tried to be tender and slow with him till my life got too busy for yet another bitter man. I gave him his space, and I continued as the kids say to do me. Then just yesterday he texted me, realizing what he missed. People can change, that is part of my testimony. I adore City Hall for giving me my fire back, showing me I was sexy again, making me laugh, praising my hustle, and even though he’s been brokenhearted too that broken man. So this broken woman will give him a little time.

Two weeks after I met City Hall

 I love that he melted when I showed him the Sex and the City scene that makes me cry. It’s the one where Richard forces the sexually liberated Samantha to be intimate without sex. It is soft, delicate, sweet, tender just like we used to be. It is listening to that loud band in your tiny, New York apartment while you drank whiskey.  That intimacy is just like kissing you for the first time outside the Long Island airport after years of Skyping, Facetiming, phone calls, and texting. 

That intimacy I felt when you held my hand at the Farmer’s Market, showing the world I was your girl. It’s how you we slept in your bed snuggled up to each other, watching The Office for the millionth time. That intimacy is the way I felt like I could staying in that bed with you forever. That intimacy is when you told my mom over the phone, “Don’t worry I won’t break her heart.” That intimacy is the way you looked at me, the way you smiled at me, the way you touched me.

I am sorry kid you did love me, and I loved you. I won’t let your hurt, angry, fear, or whatever the fuck take those moments away from me. The past five years were not a mistake. We knew real love. So you go on now and live your life, pretend you didn’t know me. Cause I am living mine again…. I am going to go on a date with City Hall soon. I am going to move forward, I will give him a chance if it wants it, to love this new woman, and maybe together we will have a bad romance. So you see I am good, even though I am in tears. I am learning to shed you and all of our years. 

The Real Me -- Plus and Fabulous 

Moving on, gotta take control, 

Staying strong, but it's taking all

Can't go back, never go back, back, back 

Sincerely,
The Woman Who Loved You When No One Else Did

Lauren Hope AKA LOLO

LOVE YOU, LOVE GOD MORE PSALMS34:7 JEREMIAH 31:4 ISAISH 61:3 I WILL GIVE YOU BEAUTY FOR YOU ASHES--- I AM A WOMAN RISING FROM YOUR ASHES, YOU TAINTED LOVE, AND I AM DANCING IN THE BEAUTY THAT IS ME, THAT IS GOD'S LOVE AND GRACE. I AM MORE THAN CONQUEROR!

I AM THAT I AM – A WOMAN OF STRENGTH, BEAUTY, DESIRE, SOUL, PASSION…THIS PAGE CAN’T EVEN CONTAIN IT. I AM THAT I AM—THIS IS THE REAL ME.

A Love That Almost Broke Me: Letting Go of Those You Love Prt 3

This is another tough one! One of the rawest things I’ve publicly shared about my past love Lyric. We knew real love, but I can’t wait for another broken man. Lauren Hope is moving on, and in telling this story I am shedding my past to live in my present, and pursue my beautiful future. If you have ever been broken-hearted, betrayed, or left by a broken man. I am sorry, but know this with some tears, good girlfriends, a good journal, and an amazing God you can let it go. You can live again, you can love again. Just look at me……..

The beach where we shared our last weekend

Dear Lyric,

You don’t get to forget me. I will never forget you. I stumbled upon our pictures early this morning. Instead of hurt or anger they brought me joy which I think it means I am finally over you. I can look over those pictures and smile at the way you held me that weekend, kissed me in the morning, and loved me in a way I never knew. I can remember how I cried by the beach because I knew I would never

see you again. I knew you didn’t love me like I loved you. I knew you still held her in your heart, a higher place than me.   I knew then and I know now I’m a woman worthy of being number one. So when I left you that weekend I was furious, mad, pissed, and fuming that once again in our love affair you didn’t choose me.

I know now you never chose me the way I choose you. You never put me first. Even after all the nights we talked until the sun came up, lay on the phone until I fell asleep, I was never enough for you. I was the woman in the John Mayer songs yet you choose to keep chasing after your ex-fiance, who had moved on. I was the woman in the Jessie Ware song ‘Wildest moments’ but you chose to cry over a woman who didn’t value your heart or your soul.  I fell in love with music all over again after I met you. Every song, every tune meant something new. Music, lyrics, poems lit my heart on fire loving you. Remember when we’d play that game where we each played songs about the other?  You were my  person ‘Out on the Ocean’ , the person in Norah Jones ‘Come Away with Me, you brought Sade’s song ‘By Your Side’ alive me to me again. You were the man in Christina Aguleria’s ‘Loving Me for Me’ track. My Wreckless Love like Alicia Keys said. You were my Nick Lachey in ‘With You’.

Lyric I was there the whole time, waiting for you to love.

From the outside, everybody must have been wondering...why we tried

Maybe in our wildest moments we could be the greatest.. maybe in our wildest moments we could be the worse of all. That was so us Lyric.

You were my Saint Patricks' Day. This was up. We fell for each other in the fall, and by spring I wanted to have all of you...

From that first night you messaged me on Facebook and said you had a t.v. crush on me, to the last night I cursed you out in anger that once again you were crying for an adulteress woman that broke your heart.  We were amazing friends. The best friendship I’ve ever had with a man. That is what real love is based on. Yet you never thought I was worthy of the title girlfriend, but I gave you my heart anyway. Whether you want to admit it you gave me yours. I cherished it up until the moment it was clear that skinny bitch that broke your heart was more important to you. After that I did not care. I spiraled out of control. I said hurtful things, did things I’m not proud of. I cut men off, became numb to love, and along with my troubles at work I sank deep into the worse depression of my life. I do not blame you for my pain, my valley, or my suicide attempts, but it was a nail in the coffin that was my old life. It was one of the things that sent me over the edge. Even now I cry when I think about how lost I started to get after you rejected me. I had exalted your love and your opinion far greater than it should have been. It was my everything.  I loved the way you loved my sister, my mother, and my crazy family. I thought you took me flaws and all. I stand before you today, honestly proclaiming I took you flaws and all too.

Lyric it didn’t matter. I loved you; your failed dreams, your broken heart, your mistakes, your bad mouth, your struggle with God, your lost path--- I could go on forever talking about how much of you I was willing to love.  You were there with me when I got my dream job in Hampton Roads. You applauded me as I told stories I always dreamt of, touched people’s lives in ways I didn’t know possible. In all those moment it was you. It was you I raced to tell about my best live shot, my best story, the praise I received from viewers. It was you I wanted to rush to talk in the morning, fire up the Facetime to hear your funny laugh, crude jokes, and humor. It was your opinion that mattered more than anyone else’s. It was you who made me believe that God gives us more than one soul mate. You helped me let go of Mr. GQ I man I wanted to spend forever with. You helped me forget the past hurts of my past my loves. It was you Lyric who helped loved me whole again. I believe God brings people in our lives to do that.

To be continued..........

Special #WomanCrushWednesday: Cheryl Olsen, Overcomer of Bullying, Beautiful, Powerful

Today I honor a special lady. Cheryl-Lynn Olsen. I was best friends with her sister Pam Olsen growing up as a kid. I wrote about our amazing bond in a blog I called simply 'Friends' Chery-Lynn is Pam's older sister. Pam is actually the youngest of three amazing, strong, gorgeous women. Today I honor Cheryl-Lynn because she is an overcomer of so much. I only know the half. I do know she is the overcomer of bullying! I do know that she takes her mental health seriously and has a supportive family, therapist, and good med plan. ROCK ON SISTER. This is how we break the stigma of mental illness. We talk about it, we share it, we cry, and we start to make changes. Thank you Cheryl-Lynn for inspiring me. You did not know this but I was always looking up to you, Pam, and your older sister Jenny. I am a better woman for having known you all.

This is my VLOG in Cheryl-ynn's honor. Keep slaying doll I'm always in your corner.

Love You, Love God More
Lauren Hope

Fine Fellas Friday: Jemon Haskins & Mike Fisch (My New Buddies)

Gosh I love my guy friends. Mike Fisch is no exception. Like I said in my previous blog, there is not enough space to describe how much I adore this man.  He is funny, smart, brilliant, kind, giving, hard-working, and he believed in me when few people did. Thank you Fisch. Thank you. I am so glad you have found love and a job you love. Ok , ok let me get to the beginning.

I met Mike Fisch when I was working for the ABC affiliate in Lynchburg, Virginia. If you have never been to the Hill City it is a gem of a town, but it is this epitome of a small town. There are more churches than 7-Elevens, no one stayed out past 2 a.m., and every conversation started with, “Do you have a church home?”  I found it endearing but also very restricting. I am from Virginia Beach, Virginia, home to HUGE naval bases, diverse cultures, fast cars, music, clubs, crime, grit, and a hodge podge of American life. Lynchburg seemed to slow for me. Then, I met Mike Fisch.

When I heard him speak I instantly knew he wasn’t from Lynchburg. He’s from Illinois, but he had this street almost urban way of talking. I liked it. He felt like my kind of guy. Fisch was a photographer at the station, and always one of my favorite ones to work with. He always worked as hard as I did, and always had fun in the process. One of my favorite memories is the time we ate Thanksgiving or Christmas ( I can never remember the exact holiday but I know it was winter one of them because Christmas trees were up) dinner at Sheetz.

“Compton , what did you get?” Fisch asked peeking at my sandwich tightly wrapped in Sheetz paper. Boy they wrap those things tight.  We were in the news van, eating dinner. We had just finished doing a sad story about a family whose Christmas tree caught fire. No one was hurt but their living room and several other rooms were destroyed. I remember feeling so bad. The family didn’t have a lot of money and their gifts were torched. My heart was heavy as we ate our Christmas dinner.

“Ahh, you know Fisch a little chicken sandwich,” I replied.

“Aight! ! Man we’re probably the only ones eating Christmas dinner like this,” he said laughing. Fisch has a great laugh; it’s loud just like mine. It felt like we were two sad folks with no inn to take cover, but the truth is a lot of news people spend holidays like this. We continued to talk about our family traditions of the holiday. It made me feel at home, even though my family was miles away in Virginia Beach. Moments like these exemplify why reporters and photographers get so close. We do become each other’s family.

Fast forward a few months later. Fisch and I ( we call each other by our last names) were talking towards Lynchburg College for a story. I was upset because my boyfriend Mr. GQ (he’s in other blogs) stayed out all night clubbing.

“Well, Compton look at this way, you are doing your thing with news and everything. You’re off weekends now, and you’ve made friends. Just enjoy yourself. He’ll come around,” Fisch said. Gosh he was so wise. I was in my mid-twenties when I reported in Lynchburg. I did need to “do me “ for a while. I needed to work hard, meet new people, and see the world. I didn’t need to be tied down to a man that obviously wasn’t ready for commitment.

“Fisch you’re right. I’m so tired of trying to make him do what I want him to do. Ugh, men are so stupid.”

“Hey, Compton! Hey! Come on I am standing right here. You know I’ve got you’re back,” Fisch said.
Then he gave me a hug. We went and did the story, the live shot, and went home. But he was more than a good co-worker that day he was a good friend. I’ve got you’re back too Fisch.

When I started to climb out of my depression I reconnected with Fisch on Facebook. He had the same number, but has started a production company. I knew I needed some new YouTube videos but wasn’t sure if my camera skills were good enough to shoot them on my own. I reached out to Fisch. He not only shot my promotional videos; he wrote them, directed them, and then hugged me when I cried during them. He stopped the camera, and said, “Compton you ok? Can you do this? Depression sucks, but look at you. You’re doing so good.”

“I’m good Fisch. Let’s go. We’ll do it LIVE!” I said. I have to put this clip in because it's hilarious. It brings me joy and I'm pretty sure this acutally happened Bill O'Reilly worked for Inside Edition. Now a lot of news reporters say this jokingly when we are fustrated. OMG I love it, Oh God now I'm having a laughing fit I can't stop.

It’s an old news joke. And we did. We shot the first promo at a Charlottesville rest stop with cars whizzing by, under a dark sky. And, that night was the first of many nights I began to break free of the clutches of mental illness. Fisch was more than a friend that night. God sent an angel to help me tell my story, give me a voice again, and then show the world they can use theirs too.

“I have a story to tell……” is my main motto--- Fisch created that after talking to me about my business Good Girl Chronicles. We used the same motto on my second promo and it will be the thread linking all my stories from here on out.

Thank Fisch for sharpening me. I only hope I have sharpened you. Love You to the Moon and Back

Our most recent promo was all Fisch too. He asked the questions, I sat in darkness revealing my pain, my life,. my story--- Fisch gave the guidance.

www.fischeyeproductions.com
Love  You, Love God More
Lauren Hope
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The night we shot my first promo
#irsonsharpensiron

Fine Fellas Friday: Jemon Haskins & Mike Fisch (My News Buddies)

I love having guy friends, I always have. When I was little living in Mississippi my best friends were my cousin Jason, his friend, my young uncle Josh. We would play baseball behind my great grandmother's single level home in the heat of summer. The backyard had no grass, just dusty, ashy dirt. We made bases out of random things like an old refrigerator, a light pole, and a stick. Whenever we ran to the bases our shoes would kick up the dirt and create a small sand storm. This was our playground in the country. We loved it, and I learned so much about how to be a good friend to boys.
I remember those days fondly, and how rejected I felt when my boy friends left me to go chase girls or tail as my great grandmother called it. But, somewhere in my heart I knew this was the order of things. Guy friends always leave, they always go to chase tail, pursue love, or their passion. They are only yours for a moment unless you are lucky enough to have a male friend who will ride with you like one of your closest girlfriends. I honestly only know a handful of men willing to do that for me. And, I love them with all my heart. So today I honor two of my best guy friends who have gone off to chase girls, chase their dreams, and find themselves. Thanks for sharpen me, and for the brief moment loving me flaws and all. #ironsharpensiron


Funniest Man I Know: Jemon Haskins
Ah man there is not enough space on this blog to describe how much I love Jemon Haskins. He's the Chief Photographer at the ABC affiliate in Lynchburg, Virginia. He is fabulous. Jemon and I

worked together on my first day at the station. Gosh, I love this memory. He took me to one of his favorite spots in Lynchburg, a Mexican restaurant called La Carretta. The food was super rich, and I remember having the bubble guts shortly after but we had a great time connecting over Mexican food. Later that week we worked together on a story about the changing of the leaves. Don't laugh I thought it was a good story pitch. Lynchburg is one of the best places in Virginia to see fall colors. There are picturesque mountains, green, vibrant trees, and breathtaking views. I love the outdoor so doing a story about fall colors seemed like a good way to introduce myself to the community. Jemon knew all the right places to go to get beautiful shots of the leaves changing colors.

But, here's where it gets funny. As we were driving, I heard a loud thump.
"Jemon, what was that?" I asked looking around the car.

"Girl nothing!" He replied in his southern accent.

I looked in the rear view mirror and I saw a large, brown lump in the middle of a dusty road.

"Oh! MY! GOD! Jemon you ran over a groundhog!" I said in horror.

"Oh girl, well I didn't see him. Why was he crossing the road? I mean he saw me driving."

"Really Jemon? Really? You think that groundhog knew you were going to be driving down this road today?"

"Compton, (he calls me by my last name) look I'm trying to do my job, I can't be looking out for all the little critters in the forest." He said this seriously yet playfully. I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard tears welled up in my eyes. This has been my relationship with Jemon ever since that day. The story was gorgeous  and in the process I gained a wonderful friend, a boy friend I plan to have for life, no matter where our paths take us.






Jemon is not just a photographer. He's an actor in Lynchburg and is always busy preparing for a play, he's a member of Big Brothers, Big Sisters and is always helping the youth. He is a beacon of light in community, and he's just as famous as the mayor of the city. He volunteers, he has a cool car, he cares for his mother, he's a dedicated friend, he mentors young photojournalists. Like I said there isn't enough space on this blog to describe what an incredible man he is. Thank you Jemon for being my friend Jemon and sharpening me. I have so many fond memories of you in the field, and in life. Thanks buddy! Don't ever change. #ironsharpensiron

To my friend, my dance partner, an inspiration Happy Fine Fellas Friday.

Also Jemon is being honored at an amazing gala

If you live in or around Lynchburg, Virginia come support Jemon and these other amazing Lynchburg residents. I'll be at the gala, cheering, networking, praising and of course blogging.

Love You, Love God More

Lauren Hope

Good Girl Chronicles Book: The Boob Prayer

Today for the first time ever I am going to give you a snippet of  my book Good Girl Chronicles. I worked on this chapter with a writing group at The Muse in Norfolk, Virginia. They laughed so I am hoping you will too. I have been asked to try a new bra line and blog about it so before I do that I wanted to share with you the struggle I've had with my boobs since I was a teen when I prayed for big boobs. Enjoy!

Chapter Two of Good Girl Chronicles

The Boob Prayer

Mom first taught me how to pray when I was about six. Before bed-time she would tell me to put my little hands together like I was forming a teepee, and close my eyes.  I remember thinking it was a game to see who could keep their eyes closed the longest. I would peek at my mom from one half opened eye.  Her eyes were closed tight, head bowed, and lips moving.  My mom never lost this game.  She was focused in this moment, and I realized this prayer thing was serious. She told me that a big God in the sky loved me, and sent His son to save me. I wasn’t sure why I needed saving, but I liked the idea that this God figure was willing to do that for me. “When you pray,” my mother would say, “You thank God for His love, His salvation, and you can also ask Him for help.”

“What kind of help?” I asked.

Mom said I could ask for anything, big or small, God would hear my prayers and with His power He can give me what I asked for if it’s in His will.

At the time God seemed more like a magical Genie than a spiritual figure, and I intended on cashing in on some prayers. I decided to test this prayer theory in a big way, and God came through in a way I never expected.

I desperately wanted boobs. I wanted to wear tight shirts, and have guys drool over me like, Jessica Rabbit. Boobs were the answer. I had hit the point in life when boys mattered, therefore, looks mattered. From everything I saw on television the key to winning a guy was a huge set of knockers.

One morning, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror sticking out my chest and turning side to side. I lifted up my tank top, exposing my Raisnette breasts. This was pathetic. I was flat, sad, and frustrated. My boobs were barely noticeable in my pink tank top, and nothing seemed to be helping. I sucked in my gut to see if it would push out the small lady lumps on my chest. Just as I began to reach for some Scott tissue paper to stuff in my training bra, the bathroom door swung open. It was my mother, and she laughed at the sight of me. Of course she could laugh. My mother has always had an ample triple D set of boobs that I saw plenty of men ogle over.

“Mom, I want boobs. All the girls are getting boobs and talking about bras, and stuff from Victoria’s Secret. I want boobs,” I said.

“Trust me, honey they will come in due time,” mom said trying to conceal her laughter.

I needed boobs. I was stuck in this awkward stage and I wanted to bust out into full on womanhood. I saw how troublesome hooters could be. My mom was always complaining of back pain from her huge knockers. After P.E. busty girls in the locker room would struggle to put on large ugly grandma bras. One girl even wore two bras to support her large breasts. I didn’t care; I wanted boobs, so I did what any sensible Christian good girl would do. I got down on my knees and started praying for tatas.

                After a few weeks of kneeling, forming teepee hands, and pleading with God for breast. I got frustrated. In four weeks, my lady lumps had not grown any bigger. Mom reminded me that God doesn’t answer all prayers, and sometimes they go unanswered for our own good.  But, I was miserable. Does God wants me to be a sad, flat chested girl my whole life?  This prayer thing had to work so I started to pray harder and more frequently.

                Before I knew it the boob blessing washed over me like a rain shower. In what seemed like weeks my lady lumps had sprouted out to big mounds on my chest. Every week I could not wait to try on different shirts, and outfits to see how they accentuated my bust. The only problem was once the blessing started it didn’t stop. It was as if all my prayers correlated to my bra size. It wasn’t long before I was a double D in middle school. As mom would always say, “Be careful what you wish for.”

                At first it was fun shopping for new bras in different colors and designs. I felt like a real adult going through the women’s section with my mother. She showed me how to properly put on the bras and how to secure them.

Did I mention that the boys were starting to take notice? I could feel their eyes on me in the hallways watching my huge knockers bounce on my chest.

 They would whisper in the hallway, “Lauren got big ole titties.”

High School Me (FML that vest was fro m Fashion Cents)

TO BE CONTINUED.....